The Legal Profession Cannot Shrink Itself Fast Enough

Hamilton Nolan · 05/01/12 10:20AM

It is fortunate that the legal profession is renowned for its graceful sense of humor about its own problems, because the "new generation" of lawyers will consist only of one cute dog, because everyone else knows that going to law school would be the worst possible decision that a young adult can make except for eating that third slice of Pizza Hut's new Cheesy Bites™ pizza simulacrum. Let's check in on the depressing mire of gloom that is the legal profession and its educational antecedents, shall we?

It Is Now Completely Clear to Everyone That Law School Is for Suckers

Hamilton Nolan · 03/20/12 09:38AM

We must admit that we will never ever tire of directing your attention to the accumulation of evidence that "law school" is, by and large, a massive fraud perpetrated upon society's most overacquisitive young driftabouts, and one whose effect is to turn out a massive class of highly indebted functionaries whose skill set is not only undeveloped to the point of worthlessness, but that, when developed, is, for the most part, detrimental to the function of justice. The fact that law school's popularity is crumbling away as the magnitude of the systemic scam becomes ever more apparent can only be taken as a redeeming ray of hope for the future of our nation's collective critical thinking skills.

Law School Even More of a Ripoff Than Previously Thought

Hamilton Nolan · 05/02/11 09:49AM

Law school is a huge ripoff—a catch-all haven for slackers and the existentially aimless, where you'll go into a huge amount of debt in order to surround yourself with beer pong-players and cute little dogs, and emerge unemployable, with nothing to do with your worthless new skills except sue to try to get your law school tuition back. Now, we can add to that list: they'll bait-and-switch your ass out of scholarship money, on purpose!

Fancy Law Students Play With Dog, Reports Important Paper

Hamilton Nolan · 03/22/11 08:42AM

The many perils of law school—how we love to cover them! As does the Lamestream Media. In fact, competition for stories about law school is now so strict among media outlets that the New York Times—once considered a "prestigious" news outlet dedicated to matters of public import—has written and published an entire story about how law students can borrow a dog to play with for 30 minutes at a time.

Kids Finally Smarten Up and Stop Going to Law School

Hamilton Nolan · 03/17/11 12:34PM

Not to be immodest, but our research (reading the newspaper) indicated long ago that going to law school was a sucker move, for suckers. Why go to law school? All it is is racist beer pong and racist emails, and when you graduate your worthless degree won't get you a job, and you get all bitter and eventually find yourself in the comments of a Gawker post about law schools, telling me to fuck off for making fun of lawyers, because do I even appreciate what all the lawyers in history have done for the advancement of human freedom while I just sit around making jokes about something I don't even understand, asshole?

UVA Law Students Love Confederate Flag Beer Pong

Hamilton Nolan · 03/01/11 01:02PM

Oh, cool: at the University of Virginia law school there's a "Feb Club" that hosts themed parties throughout February. Then they put up party pics on their blog. Here's one from their latest bash: note the awesome Confederate flag beer pong tables.

Law Student Wants Tuition Back Because They Can't Find a Job

Richard Lawson · 10/20/10 05:02PM

An anonymous third-year student at Boston College Law School has sent an open letter to the school's dean offering to leave school after this semester in exchange for a full refund, because the job scene is so bleak. Seems fair?

Law Degrees Grow More Worthless Every Day

Hamilton Nolan · 07/20/10 10:17AM

Did you do the stupid thing that a lot of people have done recently and go to law school, just because you're aimless and you figured it would be a productive use of time "in the long run?" Sucker.

Entire Education System Dedicated to Making School Easier

Hamilton Nolan · 06/22/10 11:25AM

Education: what is it for? Education exists to get you a job, and to give educators a job. Money is the root of education. So grade inflation, rich-kid perks, and dumbing down of grad schools are justified. For money!