Ha, ex-Senator Larry Craig sent out an email saying that he would be appearing on The Daily Show, but that "they won't be discussing the past"—i.e. his gay restroom sex scandal. Uh, has he ever seen the show?
Tonight on The Daily Show, Jon Stewart issued an equal opportunity slap on the wrist to members on both sides of the Congressional aisle for their party-driven, hypocritical responses to the sex scandals of colleagues. Inside, video of Stewart's remarks.
Gisele Bundchen turns 29 today. Rocco Landesman, the Broadway mega-producer and nominee to be the next chairman of the NEA, is turning 62. Two prominent people at the New York Times are celebrating birthdays today: op-ed columnist Thomas Friedman is 56 and advertising columnist Stuart Elliott is 57. Developer Sheldon Solow is 81. Carlos Santana is turning 62. Omar Epps turns 36. Actress Sandra Oh is turning 38. Former U.S. Senator Larry Craig is 64. Composer Michael Gordon is turning 53. Aussie animal lover Terri Irwin is 45. Josh Holloway of Lost is turning 40. Former MTV VJ Simon Rex is 35. And Dancing With the Stars winner Julianne Hough turns 21 today.
Because it was only a matter of time before they lumped Obama in with the self-hating gays. Tigereye Design, a button maker in Ohio, decided to design a campaign button featuring the presidential candidate alongside Idaho Senate Democrat Larry LaRocco, under the caption "Change We Can Believe In." They, uh, got the wrong Larry. At left, the once smiling visage of Republican Congressman Larry Craig, he of the under-partition men's room proposition. The Washington Post's Sleuth blog reports that LaRocco campaign spokesman Dean Ferguson said he "just laughed like everyone else did" but adds that no one in the LaRocco camp commissioned any buttons. Operation Chaos proceeds apace. The best, though, is the Tigereye (how great is that name now?) flack's explanation for what happened:
Dear Silda Wall Spitzer,
So. Today was awkward, huh? Your husband of 20 years cheated on you with a prostitute. A high class prostitute, sure, but still someone he paid money to for sex. And for a woman like you, a Harvard trained lawyer who never wanted to be a political wife anyway, standing silently by while your husband sort of apologized for cheating must have taken everything you had. We want you to know, it's okay to be mad.
The bad news for Eliot Spitzer is that he's been linked to a prostitution ring. But the good news is that it's a high-class prostitution ring. He's not the first public person to get caught having inappropriate sex, and he won't be the last. Spitzer's reputation as the moral Governor may be over — and our idealization of Spitzer ended before this scandal — but that doesn't mean his career is. In the case of sex scandal, there are three models Spitzer can follow.
Members of the press, we salute you, for your bravery in the face of extreme humiliation. Matt Lauer's Dateline interview Tuesday with Senator Larry Craig and his wife regarding Craig's restroom run-in with the law and/or male sexuality has journalists everywhere who viewed it bemoaning the experience—almost as though they'd been, say, recently exposed as hypocritical, closeted adulterers on national television. Poor things!
A tipster sent the following capsule summary from the New York Times about Idaho Senator and men's room habitué Larry Craig's potential reconsideration of his plan to resign as evidence of some kind of homophobia at the paper (they used the word "seat," see?). We don't see it ourselves, but this quote from an anonymous Republican operative seems a little more pointed.
Whether you're a disgraced United States senator forced to resign by your deeply homophobic political party or simply a curious, closeted straight man wondering about the rules of the road, you'll be sure to learn something in this instructional video on picking up dudes from Rod "Momo" Townsend. Warning: You will not be able to contain yourself from attempting "The Jazzhand Jizzdown."