Lance Armstrong Thinks He Is Voldemort (Both Love Drama)

Allie Jones · 06/11/15 08:25AM

Lance Armstrong, one of the biggest dicks and frauds in the history of men, is shocked that people cannot forget what a dick and a fraud he is—even now, months after he let his girlfriend take the fall for “partying” and hitting cars. This guy! He literally thinks he is “Voldemort,” the villain in the “Harry Potter” novels.

Robert Kessler · 04/23/13 08:00PM

The Justice Department has filed suit against Lance Armstrong to recover funds the U.S. Post Office spent sponsoring the fraud of an athlete.

'I Deserve to be Punished, I'm Not Sure That I Deserve a Death Penalty': Lance Armstrong on Coming Clean to His Family, Fans

Robert Kessler · 01/19/13 01:33AM

The final half of Lance Armstrong's interview with Oprah aired Friday. While the first night focused more on the history of Armstrong's abuse of performance-enhancing drugs, tonight focused largely on the impact coming clean has had on Amstrong, his family (including his son Luke who spent years defending his father in person and online), his friends and his organization Livestrong — from which he has now severed all ties.

Lance Armstrong Admits to Cheating in Frustrating Oprah Interview

Jordan Sargent · 01/17/13 11:32PM

Last night, Oprah aired the first part of her interview with Lance Armstrong, who admitted to her that he took performance enhancing drugs for the entirety of his career. Of course, we already know that Armstrong had all types of blood and substances flowing through his veins during his record setting seven Tour de France titles (since stripped from him) because he's been outed by everyone from his ex-teammates to Sports Illustrated. So, what do you get when you admit to truths that have long been held as such by the public in a reportedly explosive interview? An interview that is pretty damn boring.

Caity Weaver · 11/21/12 09:47AM

Tufts University voted to rescind the honorary degree they gave Lance Armstrong, one of America's most brilliant minds.

Caity Weaver · 10/22/12 11:06AM

Lance Armstrong was formally stripped of his 7 Tour titles, "banned for life" from cycling, and stoned as a witch today.

Apparently Lance Armstrong Bribes People, Too

Alyssa Bereznak · 10/20/12 04:52PM

Continuing a fall from grace so epic that it rivals the span of, say, the Tour de France, ex-Nike bestie Lance Armstrong is now facing charges of bribery, in addition to allegations that he ran a doping ring among fellow cyclists. If you have not already set fire to your copy of It's Not About the Bike: My Journey Back to Life, feel free to do so now.

Take Off Your God Damn Livestrong Bracelets

Hamilton Nolan · 10/17/12 08:45AM

In 1996, cycling champion Lance Armstrong was diagnosed with cancer. By 1999, he had recovered and made a miraculous return to win the Tour de France. Five years later, the LIVESTRONG charity, which battles cancer, started distributing yellow rubber bracelets emblazoned with "LIVESTRONG" in honor of Armstrong's courage and tenacity. And now, eight long years later, it's time to cut that dirty motherfucking bracelet off your wrist and throw it into the trash.

The Worst Thing That Will Be Written on the Internet Today

Hamilton Nolan · 08/24/12 11:35AM

This business of ours, the blog business, is not "easy." Bloggers must have the agile minds and exquisite judgment necessary to survey all the news of the day, decide what is important and why, and bring readers along on a journey towards understanding.