Hamilton Nolan · 10/23/14 09:23AM

A Seattle-area school district has agreed to let a Sikh elementary school student carry a dagger to school every day, as long as it stays concealed. Said a district official, "That allows them to express their religion without jeopardizing anyone's feeling of safety."

Brendan O'Connor · 03/29/14 03:30PM

"Each blade takes up to a month to make, comprises as many as 6,000 layers of steel and can slice an onion so thin you can read through it." But... why?

Apparently Teachers Aren't Allowed to Fantasize About Stabbing Their Students Now?

Hamilton Nolan · 01/14/13 09:45AM

I've never been a teacher. And thank god, because I can say with 98% certainty that the majority of my day would consist of me, standing in front of a room full of unruly "tweens" who Just Won't Listen, stroking a piece of cutlery and fantasizing aloud about plunging said cutlery into the bodies of those unruly students. Any teacher would. But apparently in "today's America," this behavior is frowned upon.

Man Arrested in China After Knife Attack on Students

Mallory Ortberg · 12/15/12 02:35PM

Only a few hours before suspected shooter Adam Lanza began his attack on Sandy Hook Elementary School in Connecticut, a 36-year-old man went on a similar rampage in China's Henan province. Using a kitchen knife, a farmer that police have identified as Min Yingjun stabbed 22 children and one adult just before 8:00 in the morning yesterday.

Cabby Grabby, Banker Stabby

Hamilton Nolan · 03/02/12 09:50AM

What is undisputed is this: W. Bryan Jennings, an investment banker with Morgan Stanley, got a cab to drive him from his office in Manhattan back to his home in Darien, Connecticut. In Darien, Jennings proceeded to pull out a pen knife and stab the driver in the hands. Why?

Stabbing, Fleeing, Heroism, Incompetence, Drama Captured in One Shot

Hamilton Nolan · 08/31/11 08:18AM

At London's Notting Hill Carnival on Monday, 20 year-old Rio Andre was stabbed by a teenager after trying to break up a fight. What was that intense moment like? Well, just look at this god damn picture: There's Andre in the middle of the scene with his wound, arms out, looking stricken; there's the stabber, fleeing the scene with knife in hand; there's the heroic bystander trying to trip the perp as he runs by; there are the police, frozen, like "huh?"; there's the crowd in the background, shocked.

America's Most Oblivious at Grave Risk of Genital Burns

Hamilton Nolan · 10/04/10 02:10PM

Laptop burns! Pizza frequencies! Drug trial speed! Knife-throwing wonder! Drill-less cavities! Rabies alert! Minorities in science! It's your Monday Health Watch, where we watch your health—so single-mindedly we scarcely notice the hot item roasting our poor flesh!