At Kimye's Wedding, "Their Toilet Was the Star"

Caity Weaver · 05/29/14 01:30PM

On Thursday, Page Six published a tour de force Domesday book of outrageous Kimye wedding minutiae that, while not exactly in keeping with the party line regarding Kardashian-West nuptial coverage, makes up for it by being a black diamond custom-cut marble trove of previously unreported fantastical details. From its tragic revelation of the fate of an army of broken, headless nude statues, to its breezy dismissal of a pitifully dehydrated Andrea Bocelli, it reads like fan fiction written in tears at the Versace mansion while mainlining liquid gold.

Beyoncé and Jay Z Bailed on Kim and Kanye's Wedding

Kelly Conaboy · 05/24/14 03:30PM

Us Weekly reports that while the rest of us endlessly refresh our news feeds on this spring afternoon, hoping (for a reason we haven't spent enough time trying to understand) to get a glimpse of Kim and Kanye in their wedding clothes, Beyoncé and Jay Z are in the Hamptons, simply enjoying their life. SNUBBED!

Nitpicky Tourists Review Kanye and Kim's Wedding Venue

Caity Weaver · 05/21/14 02:55PM

America's Charles and Camilla, Kanye West and Kim Kardashian, are expected to marry this Saturday in Florence, Italy where, two years ago, their daughter North was conceived as they performed unspeakable acts upon each other in the shadow of van der Weyden's "Lamentation of Christ." A spokesperson for the mayor's office told the Associated Press the couple paid $410,000 to rent out a 16th century fortification called the Forte di Belvedere. Speaking on the condition of anonymity, an insider revealed to Us Weekly that the wedding will be "like a princess fairytale day."