From one of our kickball moles: "bklyn kickball was fun [last night]. i actually overheard a rumor that someone from Gawker must be on one of the teams, how else could they always know so much. maybe there will be a witch hunt! everyone was talking about the macy's pirate arrestee, again. no fights in my games, just some good old fashioned arguing and yelling at the umps. the styro-beers from Turkey's Nest were delicious as always... now, it seems there's some people left out, and they're turning to other leagues (gasp!) and forming their own teams... i guess what's great about it is that these kids are turning to their own resources outside of this exclusive Brooklyn league. they're almost like dissidents. if this was Singapore, they'd be jailed." [Photo: Greg Straight Edge]
In case you're not familiar, hundreds of hipsters gather every Sunday in Williamsburg to innocently have fun playing sports with their friends, drink beer, and act the fool. But
sometimes often, fights break out—the Brooklyn Kickball league is infamous for penning overlong, entertaining letters. The Post informs us (since when are they on the kickball beat?) that last weekend, en route to his kickball game, yet another rogue hipster kickballer got in trouble. He was arrested!
The bad seed of Brooklyn's hipster kickball league speaks! Even though it was reported so on their website, the team known as "Prison" isn't kicked out of Williamsburg's kickball league after all. "Just me," former kickballer Robert L. confirms. "I told [38-year-old Brooklyn Kickball commissioner] Kevin Dailey he was a fat fuck and to go sniff coke. Then pushed 2 people who surrounded me and threatened another guy. I can only apologize that jocks picked on people in high school!" There's more to the story: just like every punk show in high school, this one was broken up by... you guessed it, violence from a straight-edger!
Walking home past McCarren Park in Brooklyn last Sunday evening, I witnessed something that I felt must be important, some sort of cultural shift or at least an indication of the Way We Live Now. The park was swarming with people, young people, milling around, shrieking, and blasting music. They were drinking beers outside, which is illegal (for non-whites.) Some were chasing their artfully scruffy dogs. Most were dressed up in crazy little outfits with components from American Apparel, headbands and shiny leggings. The men mostly had beards and were skinnier than the girls, somehow. Suddenly, a ball flew through the air, very close to my head. Oh my God: this was it. This was the famed Brooklyn hipster kickball league, in action. Now a kickball league member informs us: "There was some sort of scuffle last night..."
Last week, we published the longest rant about hipster kickball in Brooklyn in the history of hipster kickball. It turns out that there's more to the story: BKKB co-founder Kevin Dailey, 38, has written a somehow more outrageous letter. This time it's a list of demands to Williamsburg dive bar Turkey's Nest, the closest bar to McCarren Park. (He was referred to as "Kev" in the previous screed.) Highlights and allegations? "What I make in one week of kickball is less than the margarita machine generates in one hour." Also, "Over those four years, kickball has made the Nest hundreds of thousands of dollars."