Kate Gosselin is the caretaker of eight children of her body's own wondrous making, but more than that, she is the adversary of eight children. This much was clear when she and her two oldest daughters, Mady and Cara, sparred on live television earlier this year, and when she ominously offered "one last redemption" to Mady in the preview to the two-part special Kate Plus 8: The Septuplets Turn 10. That special is the first Gosselin footage to run on TLC in almost three years, since Kate Plus 8 was canceled. It aired last night, and oh my god, this woman hates her children.
In the wake of an exuberant Today appearance, Kate Gosselin plus eight Gosselins are careening back to television next month, for a two-hour TLC special that answers the question: what would Game of Thrones look like if you preserved the exhausting parade of complex, acrimonious power struggles, but made two-thirds of the participants 10-year-olds? Also, what if it were set against the backdrop of the scenic Keystone state?
Just like everything else about her nuptials, it seems like Kim Kardashian jumped the gun ordering her holiday cards with her wedding photo on them. Kristen Wiig is hanging out in her undies. Katy Perry is not pregnant. Paz de la Huerta ruined the ending of Boardwalk Empire. Tuesday's gossip has been known to make mistakes.
On yesterday's penultimate episode of Kate Plus 8, America's favorite child exploitation expert took all her kids (plus a babysitter and her bodyguard/boyfriend) on a road trip. Fun! But then the children dared to actually eat the pizza they were given, leaving none for the salad-phobic bodyfriend, and Kate went even more ballistic than she did while camping with Sarah Palin. So crazy, in fact, that Anderson Cooper spent a segment on tonight's AC360 dissecting just how horrible a person Kate Gosselin really is.
Our long national nightmare is over. TLC has canceled Kate Gosselin reality show Kate Plus 8, though the network "hopes to check in with Kate and the family periodically with specials in the future." (Hopefully no sooner than when the kids start getting married.) Since ex-husband Jon Gosselin now toils in blue collar obscurity, it seems we may finally rid ourselves of the cautionary tale and exponentially multiplying menace that is the Gosselin clan.
On her reality show last night, Sarah Palin went camping with Kate Gosselin and brood. What did we learn? Gosselin is the only person in the world who makes Palin look level-headed and tolerable. Watch her completely freak out, inside.