Noted secessionist and Governor of Texas Rick Perry still has your junk on his mind. Previously, the Texas Senate tried and failed to outlaw the TSA's enhanced pat downs in airports across the state after the Justice Department basically told them to fuck off. But Perry won't let go, and he has added legislation to a special session of the state senate that would criminalize "intrusive touching" by TSA employees. Lt. Governor David Dewhurst told the Houston Chronicle, "Addressing unreasonable and unlawful searches of innocent travelers by some TSA employees is an issue that affects all Texans who use air travel, and it should not wait until next Session."
On last night's installment of The Bachelorette—ABC's envelope-pushing social experiment in which a houseful of horny male actors split their evenings between discovering each other's bodies and convincing a deeply deluded young woman that they are actually there to woo her—the remaining suitors were treated to a surprise field trip to The Ellen DeGeneres Show studio. There, they were grilled by the talk show host on what, exactly, they found so alluring about designated trophy-object DeAnna Pappas. (This proves especially challenging, as Pappas quite noticeably suffers from a congenital personality-deficiency that prevents her from doing or saying anything of interest beyond recalling the death of her mother.)
Sometimes—particularly when we find ourselves creating topic tags like "Sacha Baron Cohen's Junk"—we are prone to having minor lightbulb moments, such as the one just moments ago in which it suddenly occurred to us that the Sweeney Todd star might be inordinately preoccupied with his own manhood. It having already been revealed that it was his idea to outfit his Adolfo Pirelli character with certain below-the-belt costuming enhancements, the NY Daily News delves even deeper into the British comedian's priapic self-fascination, discovering, among other Cohen-bone bits, the reason behind that strategically placed black bar in the Borat movie's climactic naked wrestling scene:
Of the many surprises in Sweeney Todd, Tim Burton's musical ode to early-Victorian cannibalism, the appearance of Sacha Baron Cohen as barber rival Adolfo Pirelli is one of the most pleasant: The British comedian ably tackles the part's considerable vocal challenges, and cuts a fine figure in a form-fitting, periwinkle dandy suit, beneath which protrudes a bulge even more distractingly prominent than the one poking out of Borat's signature neon nutthong swimwear. E Online's Planet Gossip caught up with the movie's costume designer to find out where nature ended and package-enhancing magic began: