Ark. Judge Says "Sluts Are Just Whores In Training," and Other Stuff

Adam Weinstein · 03/07/14 04:44PM

Mike Maggio is a judge in Arkansas. He is also a big LSU fan. He is also the commenter geauxjudge on an LSU fan site, and he posts some peachy comments there about sluts, gays, minorities, rodeo sex fantasies, and this one time he presided over Charlize Theron's son's adoption.

'Foxy Knoxy' Faces Retrial in Murder of British Student

Max Read · 03/26/13 07:22AM

The highest court in Italy has ordered Amanda Knox to stand trial again for the killing of her former roommate, British exchange student Meredith Kercher, overturning Knox's 2011 acquittal. Knox will likely not return to Italy for the retrial, as her presence is not required, and after the four years she spent in Italian jail during the first trial and its appeal she's probably just as happy to never go back (though think of those wasted language skills!). In 2007, Knox, at the time an exchange student, and Raffaelle Sollecito, her then-boyfriend, were arrested after Kercher was found dead, partially undressed and with her throat slit, in their shared apartment in Perguia. An apparent confession (later thrown out), Knox's bizarre post-arrest behavior, and prosecutors' accusations that Kercher had been killed as part of a satanic sex game became tabloid fixations during the two-year trial, which ended in 2009 with convictions for Knox and Sollecito. After an appeal, the convictions were overturned in 2011—an Ivorian named Rudy Guede had been separately tried and convicted—and Knox returned to Seattle, her hometown. If she and Sollecito are re-convicted of Kercher's murder, Italian law will require her to serve out her life sentence, though it remains to be seen whether or not the U.S. would approve an extradition request. In a statement, Knox called the high court's ruling "painful" and "unfair." [NYT | NBC | CNN]

Judge Tells Man to Temporarily Retire his Manjunk or Face the Consequences

MTanzer · 12/08/12 04:23PM

Corey Curtis, a Wisconsin man, was about $85,000 behind in child support payments for two of his nine children (more on his super sperm in a minute). After pleading no-contest to one charge of felony bail jumping and one charge of failing to pay his child support, he received an uncommon punishment as part of his probation sentencing.

Why The Supreme Court Hasn't Taken Either Gay Marriage Case Yet

Mallory Ortberg · 12/02/12 12:30PM

The Supreme Court met Friday to discuss the possibility of hearing arguments for two high-profile cases concerning gay marriage (one for California's Proposition 8 and the other for the federal Defense of Marriage Act), but "surprised" everyone when they made neither a decision nor an announcement by the end of the day.

Leave Scalia Alone

John Cook · 07/06/12 01:30PM

The top story out of the recently concluded Supreme Court term was, of course, the healthcare decision. But a close second was the astonishing fact that Associate Justice Antonin Scalia is a conservative. And an asshole! So what?

A Judge Too Crazy to Work in Georgia

Hamilton Nolan · 09/06/11 04:36PM

The Georgia Supreme Court has removed Catoosa County magistrate Anthony Peters from his position and banned him from ever returning to the bench in Georgia. His "crime?" After his father died and he had an auto accident in 2005, he started taking large quantities of pain medication and acting erratically. That could happen to anyone, you monsters.

Judge Rape Case Features Sex Tape, Badass Hooker

Hamilton Nolan · 07/20/11 03:55PM

Judge Pat Murdoch (pictured)—Albuquerque, New Mexico's top criminal judge—was arrested yesterday and charged with raping a prostitute, which is frowned upon in judicial circles. But this isn't just your boring, run-of-the-mill judicial hooker rape case!

Rod Blagojevich's Defense Accuses Prosecution of 'Making Faces'

Jim Newell · 05/31/11 03:11PM

The lawyers for former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich in his ongoing corruption retrial are already hated by the judge for wasting time with useless questions. But now they've found a new way to waste time and annoy the judge: By tattling on the prosecutors for "making faces" during the defense's question time. It's really mean!