Rich Men Seek Praise for Showering Workers With Pennies

Hamilton Nolan · 07/12/16 11:30AM

Some of America’s biggest corporations are (very publicly) raising the minimum wages of their employees. This is better than nothing, but not as good as, say, dangling a CEO by his ankles and shaking him until all of his billions fall out.

Hamilton Nolan · 07/08/15 09:25AM

JPMorgan Chase will reportedly pay at least $125 million to settle state and federal investigations into illegal debt collection methods. Compared to some of the other stuff they’ve done lately, that’s not bad! Give Jamie Dimon another raise.

How JPMorgan Robbed a Church

Hamilton Nolan · 01/08/15 12:15PM

A church that gave its money to JPMorgan Chase to manage says that the bank robbed it blind. Here is a useful window into how legalized robbery on Wall Street works.

Hamilton Nolan · 10/21/14 08:02AM

New York mayor Bill De Blasio says JPMorgan Chase's request for $1 billion in public subsidies for its new Manhattan headquarters is "a nonstarter." He said nothing about arresting Jamie Dimon for having the temerity to even ask. De Blasio's revolutionary credentials remain an undecided topic.

Hamilton Nolan · 04/11/14 08:41AM

JPMorgan's profit fell by 19% in the first quarter of this year, despite the fact that they just gave their CEO a raise, which should have fixed everything.

Of Course Jamie Dimon Got a Raise

Hamilton Nolan · 01/24/14 10:02AM

If you are a "normal" person with "common sense" values who doesn't always "get" the way that Wall Street works, here is a very simple lesson.

Hamilton Nolan · 01/14/14 09:31AM

Billions of dollars of legal costs related to endless findings of wrongdoing cost JPMorgan Chase only 27 cents per share in the fourth quarter. The company's profits fell to a mere $5.28 billion in the past three months. The bank is no doubt severely chastened by the serious consequences for its misdeeds.

Hamilton Nolan · 01/08/14 09:19AM

JPMorgan has agreed to pay a settlement of $2.6 billion for charges related to the bank's failure to stop Bernie Madoff's Ponzi scheme. In the past two years, the bank has paid close to $30 billion in legal settlements. That number is smaller than JPMorgan's profits, so Jamie Dimon will never get fired.

Cord Jefferson · 10/25/13 06:53PM

JPMorgan Chase has agreed to pay $5.1 billion to settle claims that it misled Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac about mortgage securities it sold them in the lead up to the housing market crash. HuffPo's "JPMorgan Shame Tracker" reports that this puts JPMorgan's fine and legal cost bill since 2009 at $31.28 billion.

Jamie Dimon Vs. JPMorgan: One Must Go

Hamilton Nolan · 10/15/13 09:11AM

Jamie Dimon is one of the most admired CEOs on Wall Street. Under his watch, JPMorgan Chase has been penalized for multiple legal violations, capped by the largest legal fines in banking history. Should Jamie Dimon be fired? Well, if not, his bank should be destroyed.

Hamilton Nolan · 09/25/13 03:44PM

JPMorgan Chase is reportedly considering an $11 billion settlement over its handling of mortgage-backed securities leading up to the recession. "Billion" with a "B."

JPMorgan Hit With Puny $920M Fine Over ‘London Whale’ Debacle

J.K. Trotter · 09/19/13 09:53AM

Titanic financial firm JPMorgan Chase posted $6.5 billion in profits during its last quarter—a company record. For lying to multiple governments and its own investors about losses of $6 billion, however, the bank will have to pay just $920 million, or 0.03 percent of its current holdings. With total assets of $2.35 trillion, JPMorgan could pay the same fine every hour for three months, or every day for seven years, before their coffers would run dry.