The University of Arizona's Sigma Alpha Epsilon chapter was suspended this week for violating alcohol restrictions and allegedly hazing pledges. The frat hasn't managed to stay out of trouble since last year, when Jackass star Johnny Knoxville accused SAE of slipping him ecstasy during a Bad Grandpa screening. Now Knoxville feels bad they got suspended.
Here's a trailer for the upcoming Jackass 3D, the new James Ivory picture starring Maggie Smith and Jim Broadbent. Hm? Wait, no, sorry. It's the threequel (ugh) in the Johnny Knoxville series about man-boys hurting themselves. And it's in 3D!
• Brittany Murphy's funeral has been scheduled for tomorrow, Christmas Eve. In other Brittany news, her super-sketchy husband Simon Monjack, who indicated initially that he didn't want an autopsy to be performed on Murphy, now says he wants to know exactly what caused her death, although he also says he's sure it didn't have anything to do with her having a drug problem or eating disorder of any kind; the coroner in LA is completely baffled how information about Murphy's giant cache of prescription drugs made its way to TMZ and says he's planning a full investigation; and in what may be the most twisted development of the day, it seems Murphy's LA home has already been added to a "Haunted Hollywood" tour.
• Poor Mischa Barton. She showed up at the Whole Foods in Soho with her Shih-Pom, Ziggy, and was then informed that the store doesn't permit dogs inside, even those that happen to belong to semi-famous people. [NYDN]
• Steven Tyler of Aerosmith says he's been addicted to painkillers for years and is now heading to rehab. [People]
• Kate Moss took notice of those photos of her in St. Tropez last month looking a little worse for the wear. She's supposedly changing up her lifestyle in an effort to "look 10 years younger," and she'll be eating healthier food, drinking less alcohol, and smoking fewer cigarettes from now on. [DM]
• Vogue editrix Anna Wintour was "advised" to leave her trademark sunglasses at home when she turns up as a guest on Dave Letterman's show next week. It was advice she didn't much appreciate, however. [P6]
• Gayle King demoted? Oprah says Jay-Z is her "new best friend." [People]
• Mariah Carey's new album hasn't been beset with problems. The decision to push back the release date, so it's one day too late to qualify for the Grammys? That's because she's fighting back against the system, don't you see? [NYDN]
Rupert Murdoch turns 78 today. Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia is turning 73. Joel and Benji Madden are 30. Sam Donaldson is turning 75. Famed attorney David Boies is 68. Finance exec Alexandra Lebenthal is 45. Real estate broker Robby Browne is 61. Jesse Jackson, Jr. is turning 44. Singer Lisa Loeb is turning 41. Terrence Howard is 40. Actress Thora Birch is turning 27. Bobby McFerrin is turning 59. Director Jerry Zucker is 59. Rapper Paul Wall is 28. Johnny Knoxville is 38. And Long Island's very own Joey Buttafuoco is celebrating his 53rd birthday today.
• Sarah Jessica Parker is dying to cast Britney Spears as Carrie Bradshaw's younger cousin or niece in the next Sex and the City movie, or at least that's the rumor anyway. [MTV]
• Jeremy Piven was not on the plane that crashed yesterday, just in case you were worried or anything. [NYDN]
• Lindsay Lohan says she works "as hard" as other actors, but she gets no credit due to the "mess that I created in my life." [NYP]
• Is John McCain thwarting our chance to see Cindy McCain on Dancing With the Stars? Say it isn't so! [P6]
PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our millions of Defamer operatives. We'd like to remind you that this feature is powered by you, so if you want to see more installments of PrivacyWatch, then all you've got to do is to send us your sightings. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about the time you saw Pauly Shore awkwardly engage Francis Ford Coppola in conversation at a Vegas nightclub.
Forget Justin Long as Mac and John Hodgman as PC. The latest computer pitchman could be Johnny Knoxville, star of MTV's Jackass series. A reader of the blog Cajun Boy in the City claims to have been in a focus group for an unnamed company he believes is Microsoft. Redmond's marketing execs recently hired ad firm Crispin Porter & Bogusky, the creators of Miller Lite's "Man Laws" campaign and Burger King's live-action "King." The reader writes:
Now this would be an interesting potential genius move/ mistake: According to an unverifiable leak to Gawker-approved blogger Cajun Boy In The City, Microsoft might be thinking about Johnny Knoxville as its cool new answer to Mac's young annoying hipster spokesman, Justin Long. You'll recall that Microsoft recently hired a new, more with-it ad agency in a bid to stop getting humiliated in 30-second spots. Is this what they came up with? We've emailed the company for comment [UPDATE: Microsoft's PR firm emails us: "Microsoft is planning a consumer advertising campaign with Crispin Porter & Bogusky. We have no other details to share at this time." Thanks!]. After the jump, the entire email [via Cajun Boy] from someone who purportedly attended a Microsoft focus group and saw it all firsthand.
When not perfecting his pursuit of the anaconda-piledriving and scrotum-stapling arts, The Ringer star Johnny Knoxville enjoys mounting elaborate pranks: Who could forget, for example, the WeHo billboard featuring the image of Jackass Number Two director luring vacationers to a fictional gay cruise line. ("Sailors board me now!" the fake signage beckoned.) In keeping with that proud tradition, when Knoxville learned his best binge-drinking buddy Luke Wilson would be visiting Malibu's corporate celebrity-clusterfuck cabana, the Polaroid Beach House, he made special arrangements for his arrival. From Page Six:
· You know what's totally hot right now? Quietly filing for divorce on the Third of July.
· Danny Boyle: Not an Eli Roth fan.
· We recommend that you hold off on your Parass Hilton buttplug purchase until the Jailbird Edition offers the Assquake option. You'll thank us later.
· Is it bad that we're happy the mayor bagged a hot Telemundo chick?
· Phil Spector's lawyer has his priorities in order.
A trio of celebrated jackasses—tireless celebrities' rights activist Jimmy Kimmel, noted anaconda ball-pit wrestler Johnny Knoxville, and Adam Carolla—are being sued for $10 million by the starring dupe of the Comedy Central movie Windy City Heat. (For the uninitiated, Heat was an elaborate practical joke, in which the gullible Caravello is made to believe that he won the lead in a movie about "sports private eye Stony Fury," which might have played funnier if he didn't, as one prominent physician observed, appear to be suffering from moderate-to-severe brain damage.) Reports the AP:
The Best Week Ever blog has video of Steve-O's Jackass Number Two premiere red carpet wee-wee-trickling misadventures. (Those hoping for a glimpse of the Pecker-O will be disappointed to find a dancing BWE logo obfuscating the oft-punished goodies, but you can always go back to our original photo post for an unobstructed view.) Co-star/walking Budweiser billboard Johnny Knoxville seems completely over the proceedings, saying, "You're on your own, kid," with a thought bubble magically appearing above him a moment later reading, "I shoulda ditched these retards for the Wilson brothers a long time ago."
Sure, the premiere served up all the old school Hollywood glamour we've come to expect from the bow of a Paramount Pictures production. But not even Steve-O, Bam, and Wee Man overpowering and then relieving their bowels upon Billy Bush before entering the Chinese Theater could have turned Jackass Number Two into a critical success: The movie would have to earn that on its own. The reviews are in, however, and based on a random sampling of the nation's film critics, what it lacked in narrative and character development, it made up for in its visceral, puke-inducing formal elements. A round-up: