World's Worst Person Also World's Cheapest Person

Adrian Chen · 07/11/10 04:20PM

John Fitzgerald Page is not only a horrible person who once tried to extort $1000 from a 19 year-old girl. He is also the world's cheapest person. Let's enjoy some tales of his absurd frugality!

Who's the Douche of the Decade?

Hamilton Nolan · 12/15/09 04:51PM

This has been the Decade of the Douchebag. There's no denying it. Though we've retired the term, we're bringing it back to identify the douche who was the douchiest. You get the chance to pick our winner.

So You Want to Be a Fameball?

Hamilton Nolan · 04/09/09 03:59PM

Too often, random people contact us, begging to be covered as fameballs. What they don't realize is that fameballdom is an organic process. This guide will help your effort to become ubiquitous and despicable:

John Fitzgerald Page Joins Dr. Phil For 'Sad Perv Day'

Pareene · 05/07/08 04:27PM

So. Remember this? Online Dater John Fitzgerald, the worst person in the world, was going to be on Dr. Phil, the worst show in the world.Why? We are not really sure. It aired today! Dr. Phil copied his drivers' license—even his drivers' license is creepy—and discovered the horrible truth: John Fitzgerald Page is almost 41. Then they sent him to a bar, where he terrorized women and wore suspenders. "He needs his own table, really, for his head," said one lady. IT GOT WORSE. MUCH, MUCH WORSE.

Face Time!

Richard Lawson · 04/16/08 12:52PM

One must be "upscale" to be an extra on Gossip Girl, at least according to a recent Craigslist casting call. Also: ladies, please wear "cocktail dresses in black or gem tones" for this fancy "elite rehersal [sic] dinner party." Upscale! Just like John Fitzgerald Page. Who is a professional extra! Oh please oh please oh please let him show up on an episode of Gossip Girl, then the universe could finally wink out of existence and we could all live for happy, restful eternities in the ethereal void.

Worst Person In The World Needs Your Vote For Sad Competition

Ryan Tate · 02/18/08 06:22AM

John Fitzgerald Page built his reputation as a poxy online dater in part by bragging about his 8.9 score on the website "Hot or Not" to a girl he was telling off. Won't you please help Page continue to invent douchey new brags by voting five starts for him in Esquire's "Best Dressed Real Man 2008" competition? He's only up to one star and eight votes; his legions of admirers have not yet shown up. James describes himself as "Gordon Gekko + James Bond + Italian designers," but you can judge for yourself:

Worst Person In the World To Be On Worst Show In the World

Pareene · 02/15/08 05:11PM

Nightmare online dater John Fitzgerald Page will appear on an upcoming episode of nightmare tv therapist Dr. Phil's show, in a segment dedicated to "men with out-of-control egos." Yeesh. Click to enlarge the woefully misaddressed email.

John Fitzgerald Page Tells Off Internet Pussies One By One

Hamilton Nolan · 02/14/08 12:32PM

The Worst Person in the World, Atlanta online dater John Fitzgerald Page, is taking a two-pronged approach to preserving his terrible reputation: First, give asshole quotes to the press; then, get into long e-mail flame wars with anonymous online detractors. On the first count, JFP gave an interview to Penn's 34th St. Magazine explaining the origin of his downfall— some fat chick. "If she were hot, she'd be in Playboy; she'd be on the cover of Vogue; she'd be all over the news...I'm like, you want to fight me because I blew off a fat chick on" Ridiculous! And what about those e-mails? Below, the entirely too long, and kind of sad, angry correspondence over the past two days between JFP and some random guy.

Worst Person In The World Fails To Redeem Himself On National Television

Hamilton Nolan · 02/12/08 03:29PM

John Fitzgerald Page, the Atlanta-bred Worst Person in the World, blew a golden opportunity for self-effacing humor that an inexplicably sympathetic CNN correspondent laid in his lap in a one-on-one interview. Sipping on an iced beverage in his finest suspenders, JFP boldly rejected the softball questions that CNN's Eric Lanford set on a tee in front of him, instead opting to tell all you heartless Gawker-reading bastards exactly how it is: "I'm not arrogant, I'm accomplished. You walk into a bar and say, 'I just bought a Ford truck.' I go in and say 'Look at my Beemer convertible.'" Yes you do, JFP. Yes you do. That's why this video will only add to your legend.

Worst Person In The World "Will Say And Do Whatever" He Wants

Ryan Tate · 02/11/08 10:16PM

Unrepentant douchebag John Fitzgerald Page, the worst person in the world, received unsolicited advice from an actual admirer, over the Internet. So of course he went and ruined everything by getting into a big douchey fight with the fan, who promptly emailed the whole exchange to us. In it, Page said "I didn't get this far by listening to random advice from strangers," and by "this far" he means "international infamy for bragging about squat-press capabilities and lunch with the Secretary of Defense and for asking questions like 'I went to an Ivy League school... where did you go to school?'" Email thread after the jump.

What Iraqi Suicide Car Bomber?

Maggie · 02/10/08 01:08PM

Nighmare online douchey dater John Fitzgerald Page was just on CNN Headline News. You know, the service that brings you a digest version of the most important news stories on the planet.

World's Worst Date with World's Worst Person

Richard Lawson · 01/28/08 05:05PM

Our old friend John Fitzgerald Page, online braggart and the world's worst person, has been selling merchandise for some time now, but now it's gotten even better! For the low cost of $500 a day ($250 for a 1/2 day. Whew! Hard math!) you can enjoy the company of this upscale Ivy League grad. Perhaps after you bring him to your office party, he'll take you for a nightcap in his favorite Atlanta nightlife district. Or maybe even at his high rise apartment. This is probably a joke, right? If so, good on him. Though, that's what we said about him the first time we encountered him, and as he proved over and over again, he was deadly serious. Someone should tell him that the Debra Messing movie he's citing, The Wedding Date, was a terrible bomb and may be the World's Worst Movie (some of us may have seen it. More than once.) We dare someone to go on a dream date with him. Come on. It's a bargain. (Click thumb for larger screen shot!)

John Fitzgerald Page Can't Make Eye Contact With The Camera To Save His Life

Emily Gould · 11/26/07 03:10PM

It's minute 14:59 for John Fitzgerald Page, and it's fiiiinally starting to seem like the Atlanta internet-dater is in on the joke, the joke being himself. In a new video for, he still sounds pretty bitter towards "a crazy individual who does not consider private emails ... private," but he does seem like he must be mocking his own 'too stupid to know how to be pretentious right' shtick with his tips for Internet dating, which include "label photos accurately." Because "six photos of your head means only one thing. You might as well label the photos, 'I am fat and unattractive.'" Ha ha ha!

A Gawker Thanksgiving

Joshua Stein · 11/21/07 05:00PM

Every year Gawker commenter and ad sales guy (and the best argument for abolishing the divide between editorial and advertising) LolCait has a super special Thanksgiving in his mind. There all of his and your favorite characters meet and dreams come true. This year Laurel Touby hosts.