Joe Francis To His "Retarded" Jury: Just Kidding!

Rich Juzwiak · 05/23/13 09:55AM

It was not inevitable that Joe Francis would issue an apology for his remarks to The Hollywood Reporter suggesting the jurors who recently convicted him for unlawful imprisonment should be executed. But what was inevitable is that if an apology were to surface, it would be full of assy qualifications, self-entitlement and victim-playing. And so it has, and so it is. Below is the "apology" Francis issued because someone obviously told him to do it, although they failed to inform him how to do it:

Joe Francis Says His "Retarded" Jurors "Should Be Lined Up and Shot"

Rich Juzwiak · 05/22/13 12:14PM

Girls Gone Wild creator Joe Francis has gone wild and it's way better than a bath full of bouncing, barely (or not-at-all) legal coeds. On May 7, the day after he was found guilty of false imprisonment (three counts), assault causing great bodily injury (one count), and dissuading a witness from reporting (one count), The Hollywood Reporter nabbed an exclusive interview with the supreme douche, who was highly emotional and, as revealed later in the ensuing profile, drunk.

Girls Gone Wild Finally, Blessedly Files for Bankruptcy [UPDATE]

Cord Jefferson · 02/28/13 12:15PM

After 16 godawful, Jägermeister-fueled years, the Girls Gone Wild amateur porn franchise is filing for bankruptcy. The Wall Street Journal reports that company founder Joe Francis manager Chris Dale put GGW Brands LLC and other companies under the Girls Gone Wild umbrella into Chapter 11 protection yesterday to prevent the Wynn Las Vegas Casino and Resort from acquiring them in a multimillion dollar lawsuit:

Joe Francis Is Now His Own, Terrible Lawyer

Seth Abramovitch · 03/31/11 02:14AM

Girls Gone Wild founder and Gawker Douche of the Decade Joe Francis has been representing himself in a Panama City courthouse this week, in a civil case brought against him by four young women who fell prey to his "you expose yourself, I give you this magical tube top" routine. If you think this hilarious arrangement has disaster written all over it, you're right!

Real Housewives of Miami: No One's Benefit

Brian Moylan · 03/02/11 02:32PM

The Real Birdturds of Miami screeched in unison last night as they all attended Lea Black's Black Tie Extravaganza at Black House Manor. But one of the ladies was not welcome and there will be vicious hell to pay.