Good Lord Almighty: Jesus Thwarts An Armed Robbery

Jeff Neumann · 07/31/10 01:47PM

When a Florida cellphone store clerk was approached by an armed robber, she turned to Jesus for help: "I'm just going to talk to you about Jesus, my God, before you leave." He left, and later robbed a Payless ShoeSource.

Glenn Beck Reminds Us That Jews Killed Jesus

Richard Lawson · 07/15/10 03:14PM

Dream presidential candidate Glennifer Beck was on his television program last night talking about liberation theology and religion and stuff and he dropped some theological-historical knowledge on us: The Jews killed Jesus! Haven't you missed that old saw?

Body By Jesus

Hamilton Nolan · 07/13/10 01:32PM

Do you have a desire to lose weight, an aversion to all those "science-based" workout programs, a gullible nature, and $79, plus shipping? Then you need Body Gospel™—the faith-based workout. But what makes Body Gospel™ so revolutionary?

Jesus Appears in Portuguese Playboy (Updated)

Maureen O'Connor · 07/07/10 03:12PM

On his way to an appearance on a grilled cheese sandwich, Jesus took a wrong turn and found himself in a Portuguese brothel. What would Jesus do? Here's Portuguese Playboy to answer this urgent question with NSFW photos.

Web Soup Highlights Blasphemous "You Testament" Video Game

Whitney Jefferson · 05/13/10 10:45AM

Host Chris Hardwick brought our attention to a quite an interesting game during last night's episode of Web Soup. Watch a clip of an RPG in which you're God and killing anything and anyone you want—including Jesus.

Scary Crucifixion Rituals Around the World

Maureen O'Connor · 04/04/10 02:21PM

Easter is the best holiday for sadists, as Catholics worldwide bloody themselves imitating the passion of Christ, just like Mel Gibon's torture porno with that name. It's also rural Filipinos' annual season of infamy, for literally nailing themselves to crosses.

Jesus is Back From the Dead, and This Time... It's Personal

Mike Byhoff · 03/15/10 11:30AM

So Jesus was basically totally screwed over when he was crucified. Some might say he was forsaken. So what if instead of being a humble savior, he was able to wield superhuman strength, a glock, and one bad attitude?