School Does Really Lame Job of Pretending Lady Gaga Came to Visit

Seth Abramovitch · 06/02/11 08:21PM

A school employee from New Jersey promised students that Lady Gaga would give the kids a talk about bullying via the internet. So she did what any reasonable person with absolutely no access to Lady Gaga would do after making a promise she could not keep: She hired a Lady Gaga impersonator!

Snooki Is Influencing New Jersey's Legislative Agenda

Brian Moylan · 04/08/11 02:09PM

What factors does New Jersey consider before proposing legislation? Is it the economy, the health and wellness of their citizens, or the desire for law and order? No, it's how much Snooki gets paid.

'Daily Show' Hurts New Jersey City's Feelings

Adrian Chen · 11/21/10 03:54PM

Last week, the Daily Show mocked the town of Bayonne, New Jersey, in a spoof of Sarah Palin's Alaska. Jason Jones' Bayonne featured Daily Show correspondent Jason Jones taking in the city's Russian hookers and industrial wasteland. Bayonne is pissed.

Jerseylicious Makeover: Where's the Bump-It?

Devon Irete · 04/07/10 10:08AM

When one girl sits down for a Jerseylicious makeover it's purple eyeshadow, teasing, and make-up artist drama for the win. One Crushable blogger sits down at New Jersey's newly famous Gatsby Salon to get her Jerseylicious look on.

The Great Idiot Perfume Heist

Hamilton Nolan · 03/09/10 09:32AM

A third NYPD officer has been arrested for his role in last month's heist of a New Jersey perfume factory. Or, as we prefer to call it, "The Worst Fucking Heist Ever." Don't rogue cops even watch movies?

Obama Turns Ordinary Man into Celebrity Magnet

Hamilton Nolan · 01/20/10 02:28PM

Tom was just like you: an ordinary schmoe from Jersey, with a kid and a job in banking and a pronounced inability to attract celebrities into his general vicinity. Until one day when he met Barack Obama, became magnetized, and proceeded to attract celebrities, in much the same way a magnet attracts metal. Moments ago, Tom sent out this lengthy press release, informing the world of his strange and wondrous saga of celebrity attraction. We want you to read it all. It is just that important.

Stephen Colbert Shows Us Something We Cannot Unsee

Mike Byhoff · 12/08/09 04:14PM

Last night on Colbert's "the craziest f**king thing I've ever heard," was a creature found in New Jersey that attaches itself to an animal's tongue and feeds off it. We're pretty sure it's called a Snooki.

Hot Chicks With Douchebags Sue Hot Chicks With Douchebags

Hamilton Nolan · 10/24/08 09:59AM

Hahaha. Some New Jersey girls are pissed because they were caught on camera with douchebag Jersey guys! Three "Hot Chicks" are suing the author and publisher of the fine educational volume Hot Chicks With Douchebags, because they were pictured therein. It's destroyed their reputations, down there in Jersey! Because they were depicted as "females who date dubious men." Outrageous! Here are the actual plaintiffs in question:

'Guido' War

Hamilton Nolan · 07/18/08 02:20PM

Staten Island-all of it!-is threatening to boycott Belmar, NJ because the mayor there made derogatory remarks about "guidos," the overtanned, hair-gelled, well-muscled gentlemen who I say are just fine, so that I don't get jumped next time I go to the gym. "The mayor should watch his f- - -ing mouth!" one Staten Island resident told the Post. Ha, right you are, my friend! Do you care to read the entire press release about this grievous insult from Staten Island Good Neighborhood Association president John "JE" Englebert, for some reason? Then click through and do so! [UPDATE: And a sample of the mayor's original gentle insults!]: