Jennifer Aniston's bleep-heavy tour of the late night circuit made a stop on Conan last night, where she revealed the necklace she wore in Horrible Bosses 2 was actually a big ol' cock ring, and she told Conan O'Brien she wouldn't have it any other way.
Chris Stark, the BBC Radio host known for his charmingly awkward celebrity interviews—you've probably seen the one with Mila Kunis—got a second chance to interview Jennifer Aniston this week. What he didn't know was that his boss, Scott Mills, had put Aniston up to intentionally giving the Worst Interview Ever.
Lord knows everyone's had some troublesome times in their lives. Maybe you didn't even realize you were pregnant until cramps started up again, the hollow, throbbing ache that left you so doubled over it was all you could do to crawl on your hands and knees to the cool tiles of the bathroom floor and rest your forehead against the porcelain lip of the tub, and that's when you noticed your thighs were wet. Maybe you wandered much further from the campsite than you intended, searching for a better vantage point to watch that thunderstorm roll across the basin, and as soon as you saw the meticulously tended fire and the horrible hunk of charred meat in it, the half-full water bottle you'd just passed made sense and you realized the coppery smell carried on the wind wasn't "ozone" but blood. One time Jennifer Aniston ate a Big Mac.
Oh hey, here's a picture of Jennifer Aniston rocking a zillion-carat engagement ring that her fiance, Justin Theroux, "gave" her. Though I assume Aniston bought the ring herself six years ago and stashed it in a safety deposit box until the day she finally found a man who could properly pull off being dressed like a 1930s fighter pilot. This is a big rock. A huge rock. A very expensive, obnoxious, stupid fucking rock.
Looks like Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux are pulling a sort of Joaquin Phoenix I'm Not There thing, but with way more Smartwater. The couple are currently working on a short film parodying Aniston's life, rife with frenzied paparazzi, hushed will she or won't she baby rumors, and all the general "tabloid interest in Jennifer's life." Que cinematique!
It's almost New Year's Eve and you're going to go to a party and everyone is going to ask, "What is your New Year's Resolution?" Don't say "quit smoking," "lose weight," or "get a new job," because all of those are bound to fail. Here's a list of some nice easy ones that are all related to pop culture that you can tell people you're working on. They're fun and easy and everyone will think you're fantastic for having them.