Here Are the Best Dumb Things Ryan Lochte Said on His Reality Show

Rich Juzwiak · 04/22/13 09:00AM

Ryan Lochte is a douchebag with gills, George W. Bush without the evil and/or a golden lab turned into a human. His fame, his good looks, his 11 Olympic medals, his seeming good nature, his unending capacity for inanity and the singularity he achieves within his babbling all make him a perfect specimen for reality TV. E! has given him a show with a suitably dumb name, What Would Ryan Lochte Do...With a TV Show? (Note: The name of the show is What Would Ryan Lochte Do? Each episode is titled this with an elipses and something more specific about the show following — the first episode was called "What Would Ryan Lochte Do...With a TV Show?" Still dumb, maybe not as dumb.) It debuted last night. It was excellent.