Discount Babies Now Available

cityfile · 05/27/09 08:44AM

There's a silver lining for couples struggling to procreate: The fertility industry, which has been hit hard by the abysmal economy, is now offering discounts! Faced with rapidly diminishing numbers of people seeking in vitro treatments, doctors are slashing prices and doling out coupons for their services. A year or two ago, a typical treatment might run $15,000 or more; now you, too, can have a child for the low, low price of $6,600. They're practically giving these babies away!

Assisted Reproduction: Now Cheaper Than Ever

cityfile · 04/13/09 09:30AM

A Manhattan fertility doctor named Joel Batzofin is now offering a "recession special, "test-tube babies at bargain-basement prices," according to the Daily News. Of course, if a couple can't afford a standard course of in vitro fertilization, it's unclear how they'd be able to afford one kid, much less the multiple children that often result from IVF. But it's possible that Batzofin's "recession special" guarantees octoplets, in which case it could just be the perfect cure-all for financial problems, at least if recent history is any guide. [NYDN]

Test Tube Twins Are the New Black

cityfile · 02/02/09 09:01AM

Praise be the wonders of modern medicine: If you're a woman who plans to have more than one child, but you understandably want to pop them out according to a specific schedule while also minimizing the disgusting fat phase, IVF is the obvious solution. Instead of waiting around to conceive naturally and hoping for the statistically slim chance of twins, you can just stick a few embryos in at once and ta-da, you've got an insta-family. As Page Six magazine reports, for a certain breed of Manhattan wife—one whose husband can afford to pay for their precious offsprings' lives to begin in a test-tube to the convenience of all concerned—twins are a status symbol and "a conspicuous sign of wealth." But as always, there's no such thing as free lunch: Trying to get two places at an elite pre-school is hellishly stressful, you know.