David Arquette gave his first post-rehab interview to Oprah, and it turns out he was a beer-swilling smoking baby. Arquette describes the scene of his intervention ("I go, what up, turkeys?") and says he had his first drink at the age of four, began "seriously drinking" at 12, and stole pot from his father at the age of 8.
On today's Oprah Winfrey Show, she and financial powerhouse Suze Orman performed a financial—and psychological—intervention on "Octomom" Nadya Suleman. The best part of the show, however, involved awkward lesbian jokes related to Suleman's addiction to approval from women.
While our proprietary, patent-pending VirtuaPhil™ technology allowed you to experience what a showdown between the KingWorld tough-love swami and a Britney Spears well-past the verge of a nervous breakdown might have looked like, the actual footage from their historic meeting will never air. (Save, perhaps, for repeated 4 a.m. screenings on a rickety Super-8 projector in the doctor's home library, popping cashews into his mouth as he obsessively relives every moment of the intervention that got away.) Now the Spears family, whose only means of dealing with a situation involves relaying their problems to the nearest national media outlet, is on the attack, with frayed matriarch Lynne Spears and fecund tween daughter Jamie Lynn having dispatched a representative to The Today Show to insist they had never authorized a Britney-themed Dr. Phil episode.
So what's the latest plan to keep Amy Winehouse and her husband, Blake Fielder-Civil, from, you know, dying? Well, her in-laws Giles and Georgette Fielder-Civil appeared live on BBC Radio 5 this morning to tell you that you should stop buying her records. That way, Amy and Blake won't have any more money for the drugs they're addicted to, which Giles and Georgette theorize are crack and heroin. "I think they believe they are recreational users of drugs, and they are in control, but it seems to Georgette and I that this isn't the case," Giles explained. Seriously, don't you love how understated British people are sometimes? They could be clutching a bloody stump and they'd be all, "I'm feeling a bit poorly!"
Amy Winehouse's In-Laws Stage Intervention On The Radio [Guardian]
[UPDATE: It seems that no one has the exclusive on the video. More on this confusing nonsense here.] A frenzied series of press releases arriving in our inbox this morning have alerted us to Extra's latest "get," a "cry for help" video in which "a shirtless and extremely intoxicated" David Hasselhoff "sits on the floor of a Las Vegas hotel room so out of it that he is unable to feed himself a hamburger," footage reportedly commissioned by Hasselhoff so that he could see what he looks like when he's too drunk to enjoy a room service snack, a rock-bottom moment in any celebrity addict's life.