Alex Trebek Injured While Chasing Burglar

Richard Lawson · 07/27/11 03:29PM

Jeopardy host Alex Trebek arrived at the National Geographic World Championship, which he was hosting, on crutches today. Apparently he fell while "chasing a burglar" at 2:30 am at his San Francisco hotel and snapped his Achilles tendon. Hm. I'll take improbable explanations for $800. Also, what is: ouch. Jeopardy jokes! [ABC 7, photo via Getty]

Ghost Injures Woman Engaged in Graveyard Sexy Time

Max Read · 06/04/11 03:14PM

A 39-year-old woman in Hamilton, N.J., was engaged in what the police describe as "extracurricular activities" (mock trial, maybe?) at Ahavath Israel cemetery when a falling tombstone injured her leg. The injuries were not serious, and the cemetery decided not to press charges, but two things stand out to us: One, the woman and "a male friend" were visiting the grave of "a relative" when they decided to get down. And, well, we're not against graveyard sex, per se, but we think people should stick to graveyards where their relatives aren't buried, out of respect.

Bounce House Carries Girls Away on Gust of Wind

Max Read · 02/20/11 08:38PM

Two girls were hurt in Arizona over the weekend when the inflatable castle in which they were bouncing was carried away by a sudden gust of wind and deposited on the roof of a neighbor's house. One of the girls is still in the emergency room with serious head injuries, apparently in "serious but stable condition"; the other seems to have escaped with only minor injuries. In the future, please, remember to properly secure your enormous air-filled castle; but remember that wind is not the only danger threatening your bounce house-occupying children: Last year, California's attorney general filed a lawsuit over high levels of lead in bounce-house vinyl. [ABC15; KOLD; stock image via Shutterstock]

Dogs Only Sniff You for Your Own Good

Hamilton Nolan · 02/02/11 04:07PM

Diet drug failure! Dogs sniff cancer! Tonsil weight gain! Fantasy camp aging! Workouts destroy marriage! HIV teen pregnancy! Nevada hates children! And table saws kill! It's your Wednesday Health Watch, where we watch your health.

Man Shot in Head, Sneezes Out Bullet

Max Read · 01/11/11 10:28PM

What's the most efficient way to dislodge a bullet stuck in your head? By sneezing it out, of course! Which is exactly what one Italian man did over New Year's.

Obama's Lip Heals In Record Time

Jim Newell · 12/07/10 12:58PM

President Obama's lip has quickly healed from his terrible basketball injury, which required 12 stitches to repair. His lips are once again both supple and divine, so you can stop worrying. Phew! Click to see an extreme close-up, perverts.

Vuvuzela Ruptures Woman's Throat

Maureen O'Connor · 06/18/10 02:08PM

"South African woman ruptures throat in vuvuzela contest," reports Agence France-Presse. Before we knew what "vuvuzela" meant, that sentence about a lady in Cape Town would've been funny. [AFP, via]

Do Not Stop Working Out Until Your Bones Fracture

Hamilton Nolan · 04/01/10 04:47PM

Injuries are nothing! Soda is nothing! Ab rollers are nothing! Our quote of the day will strengthen you! It's your daily fitness watch, where we watch fitness—while deadlifting properly!

Cowboy Boots: Fashionable Yet Deadly

Mike Byhoff · 01/04/10 04:15PM

An injury on TLC's Emergency Level 1 is usually so traumatic, so outrageous, it simply must be televised. Terrifying, puss-filled gunshot wounds, near-death horse-and-buggy accidents, and of course, infections from wearing slutty cowboy boots to Vanderbilt football games.

Keaton Injured, Doing Fine

cityfile · 06/29/09 02:23PM

Diane Keaton fell and bumped her head on the set of her new movie, Morning Glory, in Battery Park City this morning. She was taken to the hospital for tests, but she didn't sustain any serious injuries, so she'll be back at work tomorrow. Which is great news for Keaton because, as Ryan O'Neal has discovered in recent days, the media can only accommodate a certain number of celebrity deaths at any one time. [AP]