I am a dandy, always out to lunch, and, so, more mornings than not, getting dressed is the most difficult part of my day. I am incapable of leaving my residence until I've rendered a meticulous sartorial model of that day's polyphonous version of my internal landscape. I am rarely punctual. I will never be caught in sweatpants.
Pakistani army troops ride in military vehicles after fighter jets attacked Taliban strongholds in North Waziristan, killing at least 27 militants. Several hours later, the insurgents fought back with a roadside bomb that killed at least six soldiers, according to the Pakistani army. [Photo via AP/Shakil Adil]
As a connoisseur of cultural detritus, you've probably seen this ad in which purported actor "Stephen Dorff," looking weary from days of dogged stubble-trimming, juts his chin repeatedly in your direction while explaining why he chooses to smoke Blu™ brand e-cigarettes, besides the fact that he is their paid spokesman. "Negative! One! I'm tired of being a walking ashtray," says "Stephen Dorff," no doubt bathed in Tom Ford cologne at that very moment.
You wouldn't wish Lolo Jones' problems on your worst enemy. She was an Olympic hurdler in 2008. She's one of the biggest track and field stars in America. Next month, at age 29, she'll be running to qualify for the Olympics again. Imagine the pressure (and the sweating!). On top of that, she has the sculpted body of a world class athlete, the tan of a god, and the beauty of a Hollywood star. Imagine the pressure. And now, in a new segment on HBO's "Real Sports," she's bravely opened up about her ongoing struggles to remain a virgin.
Congresswoman and Republican presidential candidate/shoo-in Michele Bachmann's made the cover of the latest
Cosmo Newsweek—an honor that comes with a new if not entirely original nickname ("the Queen of Rage") and complimentary #QueenOfRage Twitter hashtag. Too bad the photographer startled her like that, eh?
The economy's in trouble. Have you heard? Banks would be much happier if you hadn't, but alas, that dude who was repossessing your car probably said something about it. So now our financial institutions are faced with their toughest challenge: deciding what kind of ads to run. They can't do anything about the actual economy—your money is toast. But maybe they can make you feel better about it! Does JPMorgan Chase see a smile on your face? Yes, JPMorgan Chase does! There are a few different strategies. Some, like failed failure WaMu, use humor, along the lines of "We've dragged our dessicated carcass to a safe place now. LOL!" Others are going for the old "reassure you despite all evidence to the contrary" tactic: