Government by the people, for the people would be great if we, the people, weren’t such morons. In deed, in an effort to insure that good grammar shall not perish from the earth, Official House Resolution No. 1220 comes to the good people of Missouri from Rep. Tracy McCreery, who has apparently built up some deep-seeded loathing for her colleagueses abuse of the English language. In an interview with the Missouri Riverfront Times, McCreery explained that her fellow pubic servants’ constant slips of the tongue had the affect of “nails on a chalkboard” and that “it happens pretty much daily.”
During an evening showing of 13 hours yesterday, a theater full of Benghazi enthusiasts in Renton, Washington bore witness to a different sort of disaster when an allegedly drunk 29-year-old dropped his gun, accidentally shooting one of his fellow theater-goers in the chest. As of this morning, the 40-year-old woman was listed as being in “serious condition.”
Though many have condemned Donald Trump for repeating his claims that “thousands” of New Jersey Muslims celebrated on 9/11, and that there is old TV news footage somewhere out there to prove it, one brave, bumbling Fox & Friends host defended the “idea” of Trump’s story this morning. That man was Steve Doocy, of course.
Is this what passes for genius these days? Oh man, gotta get from this short-ass perch to right there—right there—on that carpeted floor. Better rearrange the whole goddamn bed situation. Guy probably needs crampons and a hundred feet of rope to get back on the bed.
Donald Trump, to be fair, says a lot of idiot things. And for the most part, people just ignore him until he tires himself out, as you might a child having a tantrum. But it looks like his idiot comments about drug-addicted-rapist Mexicans rightfully offended some people—Univision says they’re not going to air the Miss USA beauty pageant as long as he’s involved.