Cornell Nerd: Internet Bandwidth Limit Ruins My Social Life

Maureen O'Connor · 08/17/11 03:11PM

Rising Cornell sophomore Cristina Lara wants her school to abolish its 50GB/month student bandwidth limit. (To use more, students have to pay.) "Internet usage is free in virtually every college and university in the country," Cristina writes in a petition, "and it's also free among all 7 other institutions in the Ivy League." Sounds reasonable.

Is This Webcam Spying Victim Tyler Clementi's Last Call for Help?

Max Read · 09/29/10 10:02PM

Did 18-year-old Tyler Clementi—whose roommate live-streamed video of him "making out with a dude"—reach out for help before killing himself? A thread on a gay community message board apparently tells the story in Clementi's own words.

Inside the Weird World of Justin Bieber Micro-Gossip

Adrian Chen · 08/13/10 01:57AM

Internet fandom has existed since the dawn of the Internet. But Justin Bieber's fans have pioneered a strange new form: Justin Bieber micro-gossip, which painstakingly chronicles the obscure controversies and characters only a true Belieber can follow.

The End Of Summer Blues

Douglas Reinhardt · 09/11/08 12:31PM

Click to viewBoomp3.com Jake Gyllenhaal’s Dog: Hey Reese, do you know when Jake is getting back? Reese Witherspoon: Uh….What? J.G.D.: My dad, Jake. Do you know when he’s coming home? (Witherspoon removes one of her ear buds) R.W.: Sorry. I couldn’t hear you there. Listening to Bob Seger. (Jake Gyllenhaal’s Dog nods his head.) J.G.D: Gotta love the Seger. I’m more of a Springstein fan. Anyways, I asked if you knew when my dad was getting back? I kind of miss him. A lot. R.W.: Well, mommy misses him too. J.G.D.: Wait…whoa..wait. You’re my mom? R.W.: Well, I’m working on it. I don’t want to jinx myself though. J.G.D.: So, no idea as to when he’s coming back home? Can he get e-mail out wherever he is. R.W: Oh yeah. We do that iChat thing with the cameras all the time. He looks great. Tan and all buff. You’d be impressed. J.G.D: So, you’ve been talking to my dad all this time? Not fair. Not fair at all. R.W.: I didn’t know you were so concerned. You’re just usually licking yourself or sleeping, so I wasn’t sure. I will let you talk to him the next time we talk, okay? Photo Credit: Flynet *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.