Hamilton Nolan · 11/24/14 10:50AM

The Food Bank for New York City says that demand for emergency food is higher this year, after food stamp cutbacks caused a loss of more than 54 million meals at a million households in the city.

Walmart Dodges Taxes While Its Employees Starve

Hamilton Nolan · 11/20/14 12:24PM

Two new reports today about Walmart, the world's top provider of crap. One points out that Walmart is a tax dodger; the other points out that Walmart worsens our national hunger crisis. A banner day for Walmart!

This Human Toddler Suckles Directly From a Cow

Maureen O'Connor · 09/14/11 03:21PM

After a storm destroyed their home, Tha Sophat's parents left their native Cambodia to seek work in Thailand. Tha Sophat stayed with his grandfather, a farmer who struggled to keep the boy healthy. One day, the grandfather found little Tha clinging to the udder of a cow. The motherless 1-year-old was suckling.

Wretched Interns Desperately Compete for Life-Sustaining Snack Cakes

Hamilton Nolan · 07/14/09 04:27PM

Things have gotten so bad that unpaid corporate interns are literally starving. Across America, interns are desperately prostituting their fresh young smiling faces in return for a single box of Little Debbie muffins, so they may live another day.

'Punisher' Lays Waste to Beyonce, Nixon and Rest of Multiplex

STV · 12/05/08 11:50AM

Welcome back to Defamer Attractions, your weekly guide to everything new, noteworthy and/or catastrophic at the movies. Today we welcome back a franchise that uncannily lives up to its name, a meaty slice of Oscar bait and a congested second tier of art-house strivers, all pleading for your time opposite new DVD releases in the smoldering Doomsday aftermath. As always, our opinions are our own, but they are well-behaved, great with kids and they won't chew up your furniture. Adopt them after the jump!

KFC Demands Candidates Mention That Chicken Defeats Hunger

Hamilton Nolan · 10/06/08 03:09PM

KFC is terribly concerned about starving third world children's lack of access to Original Recipe® buckets and Crispy Twisters®! So the chicken chain is offering a cool $20,000 to solve world hunger—if one of the presidential candidates mentions the issue at the debates tomorrow. 1. What a skimpy amount to offer. 2. The purest form of charity is that which is given anonymously, not that which is accompanied by a gimmicky TV ad. 3. If they don't mention it, will KFC just let the kids starve? Watch the trite attempt to glom onto the news cycle below; thankfully, the ad is silent:

Today in Cannes Hell: Bush Billboards, Early Favorites and Sean Penn Being A Dick

STV · 05/16/08 02:15PM

Really, we're able to enjoy nearly everything happening at this year's Cannes Film Festival without even leaving our offices: There's the eerie, 24/7 surveillance available from IFC. There are Hollywood Elsewhere's billboard glimpses of gay Jim Carrey and Ewan McGregor and Jesus Christ straddling a US fighter jet. There's Andrew O'Hehir tempting us at Salon with his A Christmas Tale rave (headlined "Grief, cancer, Nietzsche and Santa") and Anne Thompson spilling the beans on James Toback's "juicy" documentary about Mike Tyson.

Is This the Most Overblown 'Times' Lede Ever?

Pareene · 04/18/08 10:26AM

"PORT-AU-PRINCE, Haiti — Hunger bashed in the front gate of Haiti's presidential palace. Hunger poured onto the streets, burning tires and taking on soldiers and the police. Hunger sent the country's prime minister packing." Oh, really, Marc Lacey? Really, New York Times? Hunger did this? The inanimate sensation created when one's liver requires more glucose "bashed in" a gate and burned tires? Oh, sorry, are you trying to be poetic? A little fancy with the language? Great work! Your stupid lede made us too annoyed to read what is probably a very important and serious story about poverty. Your stupid lede and our hangover. Is it... the stupidest lede? Probably not! SO: find us even more egregiously 'poetic' Times ledes. Maybe we'll poll! After the jump, Denton's nomination for dumbest fancy intro to serious news.