Hugo Chavez Is Joining Twitter

Maureen O'Connor · 04/27/10 12:04PM

Venezuela's president and commander-in-insanity once likened Twitter criticism to "terrorism." Now he's ready to fight fire with fire: "Comandante Chavez is going to open his Twitter account soon to wage the battle online," announced Venezuela's state-run communications agency.

LiLo Switches Teams; Amanda Peet Robbed

cityfile · 10/30/09 06:10AM

• Lindsay Lohan may be into boys again, at least according to the Sun, since she supposedly spent the night with a male model who she'd been seen making out with the night before and later posted a picture of her new conquest on Twitter. Whether this is a make-Sam-jealous ploy or true love is hard to say, but rest assured her dad will probably weigh in on the matter by the end of the day. [Sun]
• A brazen jewelry thief busted into Amanda Peet's Tribeca loft on Wednesday and said, "What up, bitch? I live here" to Peet's assistant when she happened to walk in on the guy. He quickly fled, but let's hope she got out a "What up, mo fo?" before he was out of earshot. [P6]
• Jessica Simpson likes "spiritual," "artistic" and "intellectual" men because she "can bore out pretty easily." And now it's totally clear why her relationship with Tony Romo didn't work out. [Extra, People]
• CNN's Lou Dobbs says he's been receiving threatening phone calls and his house was shot at due to his views on immigration. But police don't have any any record that he's reported threats in the past and they think the shot was fired by a hunter. So, per usual, Dobbs is probably just full of crap. [P6]
• Michael Jackson's dad says his son is "worth more dead than when he was alive." The world already knew that was the way he felt, of course. But no one was expecting him to come right out and say it. [NYP]

Michael Moore Shamelessly Tells Exaggerated Anecdote On Late-Night Talk Show

Pareene · 10/28/09 10:25AM

In Moore's story—which, we remind you again, was an amusing anecdote delivered on a late-night comedy talk show program—he went to Chavez's hotel room to ask him to please quiet down and ended up partying with him all night. They consumed a bottle and a half of tequila. And the punchline was that Chavez's speech to the UN was made up mostly of things Moore said to him, while drunk.

Commie Bastard Saves Nation From Golf

Hamilton Nolan · 08/12/09 12:40PM

Hugo Chavez runs Venezuela like a little kid playing "If I Was President," just randomly banning things that displease him. Which, at rare intervals, results in him doing something awesome. He is the first leader brave enough to destroy golf!

Happy Birthday

cityfile · 07/28/09 06:36AM

Model, DJ, and rock star spawn Alexandra Richards turns 23 today. Former New Jersey Senator Bill Bradley is turning 66. Famed television exec (and NBC Sports chairman) Dick Ebersol is 62. Richard Haass, the president of the Council on Foreign Relations, is 58. Alexis Arquette is turning 40. The rapper Soulja Boy is 19. Sally Struthers is turning 61. Garfield creator Jim Davis turns 64. Venezuelan President Hugo Chávez is 55. And Elizabeth Berkley, she of Saved by the Bell and Showgirls fame, celebrates her 37th birthday today.