On tonight's Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert recapped everything that's gone on with Egypt's turbulent political situation. He began, naturally, several thousand years ago and ended with the latest back and forth regarding the health of Hosni Mubarak and the results of recent elections.
Maybe you don't speak Arabic, in which case this ad might not mean much. But to the people of Egypt, it's a strong warning against trusting outsiders.
Whereas the opening day of the Mubaraks' trial on August 3rd was all about Hosni picking his nose and the general sense of shock felt by Egyptians who watched their longtime leader sit in a cage, today was all about appearances. Again, Hosni's conveniently devout sons Alaa and Gamal clutched Qurans. But this time around, Hosni traded in his prison pajamas for what looked to be a zip up track suit. He also looked like he's visited a taxidermist.
Deposed Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak appeared in court today to face charges of corruption and ordering the killing of unarmed protesters earlier this year. He was wheeled in on a hospital bed acting the part of a sad old man, along with his klepto scumbag sons, Gamal and Alaa. Hard times for the Mubaraks. So, in honor of Hosni's not so glorious return to Cairo, here's a quick look at the man in happier times.
Hosni Mubarak, the deposed President of Egypt, will reportedly apologize — and "plead for amnesty" — in a televised statement. Apologize, you may be wondering, for what? Good question! "[F]or for any offense caused to the people," apparently. But, look, all of that nonspecific "offense" isn't really even his fault! See, he's also going to apologize "for any behavior which may have stemmed from false information passed on to him by his advisers." Advisers are notoriously untrustworthy!
Today in possible health issues of convenience, professional charity grifter Suzanne Mubarak — wife of deposed Egyptian president Hosni Mubarak — reportedly suffered a "heart attack" and fainted after being told she was to be questioned by the Illicit Gains Authority in connection with the wholesale robbery of Egypt. Funny, because Hosni had a "heart attack" during his first round of questioning. Now that's a coincidence.
Poor Hosni Mubarak! The Egyptian dictator is, according to "a senior Egyptian official" who spoke with Fox News, "clinically depressed." The octogenarian has been in the hospital with heart problems since last week; according to doctors, he "spends all day in bed and is eating very little with his wife Suzanne by his side." Look, Hosni, don't get us wrong, the transition from fearsome autocrat to old Egyptian guy can be difficult! But you have to take care of yourself. Make sure you're exercising, and maybe take up a hobby, like gardening. We also hear meditation is great for depression. [NYP]
Deposed Egyptian dictator Hosni Mubarak was detained today, after his well-timed "heart attack" during questioning over allegations of corruption and for ordering the violent crackdown on pro-democracy protesters earlier this year. Last night his klepto sons, Gamal and Alaa were arrested and taken in for questioning in Sharm el-Sheikh, where the family has a massive compound, presumably built with money stolen from the state. In a statement, Egypt's prosecutor general said:
Amid growing public outrage that resulted in the death yesterday of two Egyptian protesters, Hosni Mubarak has issued his first, self-pitying statement since he was forced out of office two months ago. Meanwhile, state prosecutors have summoned him for questioning, and arrested his former Prime Minister, Ahmed Nazif.
Deposed Egyptian president Hosni Mubarak and his family were hit with a travel ban and their assets inside Egypt were frozen today by the country's general prosecutor, according to Al Jazeera. The prosecutor's office issued a statement saying, "The decision today is acting on complaints received on wealth accumulated by the former president and his family." Around 80 million complaints of being ripped off and brutalized for three decades are finally starting to pay off, hopefully. Mubarak's slimy son Gamal and his wife are still said to be hiding out in London.