It Is Awful to Be a Chicken

Hamilton Nolan · 10/30/13 09:50AM

Poor chickens. They don't get six million ways to die. They get, basically, two. Both of which are bad. And more chickens than you might think get the worst one: boiling alive.

The Incomprehensible Horrors of North Korean Prison Camps

Hamilton Nolan · 08/20/13 04:13PM

The UN is currently hosting a "Commission of Inquiry" about North Korea. The most impactful thing to come out of the commission's hearings will almost certainly be stories like the ones that were told to day by survivors of North Korean prison camps.

22 Terrible Things That Must End in 2013

Cord Jefferson · 12/11/12 05:35PM

For all of humanity's greatness—the pyramids, the Hoover Dam, our capacity to love—human beings have proven ourselves quite capable of doing truly disgusting things, also, including waging wars, acting upon greed, and wearing those godforsaken toe shoes. In an effort to build a more just, rational, and aesthetically pleasing future, here is a list of 22 things Gawker is banning in 2013. At the stroke of midnight on December 31, be sure to either immediately stop doing the actions listed here, or, if it's an object that's being banned, a toe shoe, perhaps, incinerate it in a trash can. The civilized world thanks you!

Fox Just Aired a Live Broadcast of a Car Chase That Ended with a Suicide

Kate Bennert · 09/28/12 02:58PM

Shepard Smith's face in this photo tells the story about this awful situation: Here he's seen immediately after Fox News had aired a car chase (live, without a delay) that ended with a suspect shooting himself in the head. Immediately after, they cut to a commercial about mesothelioma.

Andover Has Its Own Hip-Hop Anthem

Hamilton Nolan · 08/05/11 11:35AM

The only bad things about this video, "The Andover Song," are the excruciatingly earnest lyrics, the disconcerting juxtaposition of a bunch of freshly-scrubbed teenage prep school lacrosse aficionados with the format of a non-parody rap video, the horribly awkward cameo by the elderly authority figure, the depressing realization that this video's production values are much higher than those on many videos by "real" rappers, and the overarching statement that the very existence of this video makes about the dissipation and decline of hip hop culture in America.

Dad Angry Over Missing Cologne Gets Son Killed

Hamilton Nolan · 06/30/11 08:33AM

It's early, but this should be a lock for Most Awful Story of the Day: Isayah Muller (pictured) graduated from high school in the Bronx on Tuesday. Afterwards, he went out to a celebration dinner with his family. When his father, Andre, got back in the car after the dinner, he found that a $200 bottle of cologne was missing. Andre, with his family in the car, drove back to the parking garage where he'd been parked and confronted the attendants there, accusing them of stealing the cologne. They let him search the office. He couldn't find it. So, police say, he attacked one of the parking attendants, punching him. The other attendant grabbed a knife to defend his colleague.

Man Catches Fire in San Francisco Porn Shop

Brian Moylan · 04/14/11 12:09PM

A poor, unsuspecting guy caught on fire while sitting in a private booth "watching videos" at a porn shop in San Francisco. He ran out of the shop engulfed in flames. It's still unclear how the fire started, but I have been in the back of more than one porn shop in my day, and it has been known to get a little...um...hot back there?

These Doctors Think You Should Drink Urine

Brian Moylan · 05/27/10 04:23PM

So that people would start talking about their new show, The Doctors, medical professionals Travis Stork and Drew Ordon extolled the medical benefits of urine by drinking it and wiping it on their faces earlier this week. On television. Really.

The 10 Worst Things About Summer

Brian Moylan · 05/27/10 02:54PM

The weather is nice and hot and we can all almost taste the sweet freedom of Memorial Day. Summer is here, and that's awesome, but there are just some parts of the season that suck.