Hobo Women Invade Congress

Hamilton Nolan · 08/06/14 08:24AM

The majority of Americans are currently living on their friend's couch "just for a few weeks until my raise at Rite Aid comes through." In sympathy, our professional elected Congresswomen are also actual, real-life hobos.

Starbucks Hobofication Continues Apace

Hamilton Nolan · 08/30/11 08:32AM

The problem with kids these days is they don't know history. That, and the fact that they're narcissistic monsters. But let's focus on the history point: did you kids know that once, long ago, Starbucks was considered "fancy" coffee?

Starbucks Wants You Laptop Hobos Out

Hamilton Nolan · 08/03/11 12:36PM

Are coffee shops, of all fucking places, going to become the latest bastion of rudeness in our society, in which a fellow American who simply wants to purchase a cup of coffee and sit quietly, for nine hours, typing on a laptop, with papers and shit spread out all over the table as if this is his personal fucking office, is "not welcome?"

All Fast Food Outlets Now 'Cafes'

Hamilton Nolan · 06/14/11 09:39AM

Americans are a proud people. So even when we are completely broke, as we are now, we still demand that our natural fantasies of class and superiority be indulged. Welcome to the crappy cheap food place cafe, sir.

Lend Panhandlers Your Credit Cards and Here's What Happens

Ryan Tate · 08/30/10 05:36PM

Only some local hobos will use your credit card for unauthorized booze orgies when given the chance, while others will actually be honest, according to a Toronto Star study confirming research in peer reviewed journal the New York Post.

Ian McKellen Mistaken for Hobo

Richard Lawson · 05/12/10 09:48AM

Sir Ian McKellen, England's second most famous wizard, was sitting outside the Comedy Theatre in Australia in his Waiting for Godot costume when someone walked by and dropped money in his hat. They thought he was a real tramp. [Telegraph]

Hobo Can Collectors Are the New US Treasury

Hamilton Nolan · 05/10/10 03:20PM

The Way We Live Now: Commuting the old fashioned way. Imaginarily, because who has an actual job? Who can afford cabs? Who can afford nickels? Who can afford homes? Who can afford spas? The homeless, that's who.

We Shall Not Rest Until Hobos Sit Astride a Mighty Throne

Hamilton Nolan · 03/31/10 03:01PM

The Way We Live Now: Under fate's cruelly oversized thumb. How long must we be expected to do expensive things for free? Where is our reward for being rich? Or for being poor? Fuck heaven, pay me.

Editorial Shakeup at Ad Age

Hamilton Nolan · 12/10/09 01:48PM

In your frigid Thursday media column: Editorial turnover at Ad Age, Mediaite invites people more famous and attractive than you to their soiree, journalists prepare to forage, and Sarah Palin's only a few steps from the 99-cent store.