This is an incredible night to be absolutely anyone other than Donald Trump. Let the owns continue.
Man, it’s a hot one.
In Philadelphia on Thursday, poverty activist Cheri Honkala plans to host “the world’s largest ‘fart-in,’” during Hillary Clinton’s nomination acceptance speech, as a silent but deadly rebuke to the Democratic nominee. Given the handwringing from Clinton supporters and surrogates about Sanders supporters booing and jeering the Democratic elite (including their own candidate), one can only imagine the outrage that will greet such a bodily demonstration on Thursday. The presumptive nominee, this thinking goes, is supposed to accept her nomination without disruption or distraction—despite the fact that having such a vocal, activist wing of the party is, in fact, a very good thing!
PHILADELPHIA — As the prophets foretold, a generation born under the first Clinton presidency would grow to know many misfortunes: A recession, lots of Dick Cheney airtime during its formative years, and “Gilmore Girls.” This generation, the fates dictated, would rise up in pained chorus against that misfortune to be super whiny about the idea of a second Clinton presidency. When it finally came time for a woman in office, those prophets sang from the heavens that, the women of this Cursed Generation would claim they “do not even see gender.”
Lots of smart people are anxiously sharing links to Nate Silver’s 2016 Election Forecast on their social media profiles, largely because, one assumes, they are beginning to realize the implications of the fact that there is an actual presidential election happening and Donald Trump is an actual presidential candidate.
PHILADELPHIA—It was hot yesterday, and across the street from the Wells Fargo Center, where hundreds of Bernie Sanders supporters had congregated to protest the Democratic National Convention happening inside, one could hear occasional horns and chanted slogans: “Bernie beats Trump,” “Bigots go home,” “Hell no, DNC/We won’t vote for Hillary.” One demonstrator’s sign depicted “Hillary Klingon, the neocon war candidate,” complete with photoshopped forehead ridges, and another had the phrase “BETRAYED US” scrawled under Sanders’s name, in reference to a speech he’d given in support of Clinton earlier in the day. We were not, in other words, in Clintonland.
PHILADELPHIA — Welcome to the first night of the Democratic National Convention, where we’ll be coming to you live from the disgusting, 200-degree little plot of land in hell that is Philly. Tonight we’re in for a special treat: Bernie Sanders will be taking the stage. And if god cares about the media at all, Bernie Sanders is going to give us a coup.