Failed Candidate Ted Cruz Elbows Wife in Face

Ashley Feinberg · 05/03/16 09:07PM

Perpetual former candidate for president Ted Cruz ran a very particular kind of campaign. A campaign that some might have called “nauseating” or “hard to watch.” But this evening, no one had a harder time watching than Heidi Cruz—because her husband’s elbow was jammed directly into her face.

Watch Ted Cruz’s Daughter Literally Run From Her Father’s Touch

Ashley Feinberg · 04/29/16 09:11AM

At a rally in South Bend, Indiana yesterday, Ted Cruz continued his “I am a human” tour with newfound running mate Carly Fiorina. And as he took to the stage with his companion and progeny, loving, human father Ted Cruz reached down to his daughter, Caroline, to show the cameras just how much he cares. As any rational person would do in this situation, Caroline ran.

After His Honeymoon, Ted Cruz Immediately Bought 100 Cans Of Soup

Ashley Feinberg · 04/13/16 11:38PM

Thanks to CNN’s town hall, America just got another glimpse into the waking hell that is Heidi Cruz’s daily life. Tonight’s entry into the Heidi Cruz catalogue of the macabre: A newlywed Ted Cruz celebrates by buying 100 cans of Campbell’s Chunky soup.

Heidi Cruz Loves Urine and Hot Garbage

Gabrielle Bluestone · 04/12/16 07:51AM

Heidi Cruz, a former Goldman Sachs banker, is probably Ted Cruz’s best inroad to the city full of Jews and gays he campaigned against just a few weeks ago when he was angling for that sweet evangelical vote. But has she ever been to New York City before? Hard to say.

Welcome to Heidi Cruz's Living Hell

Ashley Feinberg · 02/18/16 09:31AM

If you’ll recall, a few days ago, Heidi Cruz revealed that the human flesh mask she married has a habit of calling out of the blue and making noises at her set to song. Now, we get to hear that singing bag of skin for our very selves.