Ever indulged in a little autoeroticism to images of Sarah Silverman or Natalie Portman and then wished with all your heart and soul that you might be rid of your cursed goy-tell foreskin, just so they might consider, ever so fleetingly, nailing you? Can't say that I have, per se, but the latest promo ad at Jewish hipster bible Heeb Magazine will show you the way. NSFW, if you think your boss might be uncomfortable with a WASPY 16-year-old hacking into his Gentile genitalia. Though really, what finally puts him over the edge might be more disturbing.
Last night's party celebrating the new issue of Heeb had all the ingredients of a potentially historic Gawker Team Party Crash: Jews, Media, Sex. It's the Holy Trinity of our existence — and so we decided to send Jewish, mediocre, and undersexed Gawker mascot Andrew Krucoff, along with gentile photog Nikola Tamindzic, to the LES shtetl to document this simcha.
• First the Democratic Party, now NBC: All our old friends are going after those dastardly God-fearing Red Staters. [NYT]
• Did you know CMJ is actually a magazine? Yeah, we were afraid of that. [Folio:]
• If we've got the chronology right: Jennifer Bleyer tripped through Dead show in Ohio, came to New York and found a shul on the Upper West Side, created Heeb, showed Howard Stern her ass, and quit the magazine. Then she wrote about it. [Nextbook]
• ASME wants to pick the best 40 magazine covers from the last 40 years, and we're betting none will feature Britney. [MW]
• NBC, CNN to open New Orleans news bureaus. Wow — U.S. TV neworks expanding their coverage. We never thought we'd see the day. [AP via USAT]
• Turns out that, yes, "I want all Arabs to be stripped naked and cavity-searched if they get within 100 yards of an airport," can, in fact, get you fired from your school paper, even in North Carolina. [N&O]