Hamilton Nolan · 06/21/16 01:40PM

Scientists say the number of annual “extreme heat” days in Los Angeles could increase by 800% over the course of this century. Good thing future L.A. residents will have futuristic air-conditioning in their self-driving cars as they sit in future sweltering traffic jams, wondering where their dreams went wrong.

Old People Gonna Be Dying More (From Heat)

Hamilton Nolan · 06/23/15 09:35AM

Lo! What fresh horrors shall the demon gods of global warming be visiting upon humanity in the near future, according to relentlessly negative scientists? Well, killing grandma, for one.

Hamilton Nolan · 10/20/14 01:10PM

By law, the heat should be turned on in New York City apartments by now. Is the heat on in your apartment yet? Ha.

Watch 1,000 People Cry Eating Ghost Peppers

Aleksander Chan · 06/11/14 08:44PM

The Bhut Jolokia, or "ghost pepper" was, for a time, the hottest pepper on the planet, as certified by the Guinness Book of World Records. It is definitely hotter than Tabasco sauce. One thousand people in Copenhagen downed one simultaneously as part of a spicy stunt put on by pepper enthusiast Claus Pilgaard. There were tears.

Sarah Hedgecock · 06/09/14 11:04AM

A young boy collects drinking water from a leaking pipeline in Jammu, India, on Monday. A heat wave has struck the northern plains of the country, with temperatures passing 113 degrees Fahrenheit in several places, leading to scarcity of water and frequent disruptions in power supply. Image via Channi Anand/AP.

Texas Prisons Are Hot Enough to Kill You

Hamilton Nolan · 04/22/14 01:51PM

The state of Texas has strict rules about how to handle dangerous heat on pig farms; not so in their non-air-conditioned prisons, where 14 inmates have reportedly died of heat exposure since 2007. A new report says the state is doing nothing to address the issue.

Hamilton Nolan · 01/08/14 10:51AM

A "scorching" heat wave is breaking temperature records and causing fires across Australia. We all wish we were there.

Texas Treats Pigs Better Than Prisoners

Hamilton Nolan · 10/18/13 11:52AM

The state of Texas has been the subject of multiple lawsuits over its insistence on killing state prisoners with heat stroke as they sit in jails without air conditioning. It turns out that Texas would not even subject actual swine to the same conditions.

Wear Your Shorts Proudly, Men

Hamilton Nolan · 07/15/13 03:55PM

Now that we have officially entered the "hot as hell" portion of the year, it's time for a certain type of elitist East Coast male to begin his annual smear campaign targeted at the wearing of shorts by men. Who will be brave enough to stand up for the righteousness of the shorts-wearing man? We will.

Air Conditioning Makes You Weak

Hamilton Nolan · 06/21/12 02:20PM

Uh oh, everyone panic: the temperature outdoors is not cold. Repeat: it is not cold outside. Well, gee, the only reasonable reaction to this state of affairs is to run a huge unwieldy power-sucking machine which will use massive amounts of energy in order to return our indoor space to its natural state—frigidity.