If You Have Ever Smoked, Just Give Up

Hamilton Nolan · 06/20/16 08:20AM

Are you now or have you ever been a smoker of the dreaded “tobacky?” Perhaps you gave up the habit long ago, for your health? No matter—you are doomed.

The Myth of the Addictive Personality

Maia Szalavitz · 04/05/16 02:30PM

When people think of someone with an “addictive personality,” the image typically isn’t a pretty one. “When is an addict lying?” goes a joke told by addiction counselors: the snide answer is “when his lips are moving.” Media portrayals of addiction tend to depict people with addictions as “fiends” or “demons” whose debauchery is driven by a ravenous hedonism, not a human or understandable search for safety and comfort. Consequently, the “addictive personality” is seen as a bad one: weak, unreliable, selfish, and out of control.

The Ten Best Vegetables, Ranked

Hamilton Nolan · 03/28/16 02:35PM

Vegetables are good for you and some of them are quite tasty as well. You’ll know which vegetables are best—as soon you read the rankings that are waiting for you below.

Hamilton Nolan · 03/25/16 04:00PM

A study finds that people who have “recurrent bouts of extreme, impulsive anger” are more than twice as likely to carry a parasite that is transmitted through the feces of infected cats. Eating cat butt make you mad.

No Class

Hamilton Nolan · 03/03/16 11:42AM

High class? Low class? No class. NO FITNESS CLASS. NEVER.

Coffee Is the Elixir of Life, One Might Say

Melissa Cronin · 11/16/15 11:03PM

At last, there’s good news for those of us who live life in a series of coffee-breaks punctuated by periods of anxiety-filled withdrawal.

Revenge of the Cows: Meat Gives You Cancer

Hamilton Nolan · 10/26/15 08:39AM

The World Health Organization has given vegetarians all of the ammo we need to win every argument from now on about nasty meat—which gives you cancer.

Science: If You Fidget You Don't Need a Stupid Standing Desk

Hamilton Nolan · 09/23/15 09:38AM

The person who sits next to you and fidgets all day—annoying, right? Well, guess what: you’re going to die long before them. You’ll be dead, dead, dead, your children in tears. They’ll still be alive.

Your Fitness Community Sickens Me

Hamilton Nolan · 08/27/15 10:40AM

You look at yourself and see a strong, vibrant member of a community of like-minded individuals. I look at you and I see a sweaty, desperate fascist in training. Three supportive cheers from the Fitness Team for your personal record today—fascist!

Hamilton Nolan · 06/19/15 12:43PM

Texas agriculture commissioner Sid Miller has lifted a state ban on deep fryers and soda machines in schools, saying “We want families, teachers and school districts to know the Texas Department of Agriculture supports their decisions and efforts to teach Texas students about making healthy choices.” Hick.

Hamilton Nolan · 06/17/15 04:03PM

“Men and women who eat at least 10 grams of nuts or peanuts per day have a lower risk of dying from several major causes of death than people who don’t consume nuts or peanuts... but peanut butter is not associated with lower mortality.” The agony and the ecstasy of living the nut life.

Science Watch: A "Web" of Deceit

Hamilton Nolan · 05/08/15 02:05PM

Healthy eats! Echo ears! Thunder pictures! Alien sounds! Head-volution! Space geysers! Spider silk! And statistics that some might call stunning! It’s your Friday Science Watch, where we watch science—with X-Ray Vision!