Lance Armstrong Thinks He Is Voldemort (Both Love Drama)

Allie Jones · 06/11/15 08:25AM

Lance Armstrong, one of the biggest dicks and frauds in the history of men, is shocked that people cannot forget what a dick and a fraud he is—even now, months after he let his girlfriend take the fall for “partying” and hitting cars. This guy! He literally thinks he is “Voldemort,” the villain in the “Harry Potter” novels.

50 Cent's ALS Challenge for Floyd Mayweather: Prove You Can Read

Jay Hathaway · 08/21/14 12:52PM

50 Cent used the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge to troll his former friend, boxer Floyd "Money" Mayweather, with a contest of a different nature. Fuck a bucket of ice and $100: 50 will donate $750,000 to any charity if Mayweather can read an entire page of a Harry Potter book.

J.K. Rowling Posts New Story Featuring a 34-Year-Old Harry Potter

Jay Hathaway · 07/08/14 08:40AM

Bajillion-selling author J.K. Rowling has been hard at work in her Harry Potter universe this year, scripting the upcoming Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, but her best-known characters have remained on the shelf since the series concluded. Until last night, that is, when Rowling returned to Harry, Ron, and Hermione, now in their 30s, in a new story on her Pottermore website.

Brendan O'Connor · 03/30/14 12:06PM

Warner Brothers will adapt J.K. Rowling's wonderful extended Harry Potter-universe Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them into a trilogy of "megamovies," according to the New York Times. What is a megamovie? Who cares! "The stories, neither prequels or sequels, will start in New York about seven decades before the arrival of Mr. Potter and his pals."

Snowy Owls Leave Arctic To Invade Frozen America

Ken Layne · 01/09/14 01:59PM

In normal times, the arctic bird of prey known as the Snowy Owl stays up north, feasting upon the flesh of lemmings. But these are not normal times, so the owls have come south with the terrible arctic weather. "They are just absolutely everywhere and there's a lot more coming," says an expert who knows about the owls.

Ohio State Marching Band Forms a Giant Harry Potter and T. Rex

Lacey Donohue · 10/27/13 06:11PM

Hush all you sports haters and instead click and watch one of the best halftime performances ever by a college marching band. During halftime at Saturday’s Ohio State / Penn State football game, Ohio State’s marching band took the field and performed an ode to the music of Hollywood blockbuster films.

Maggie Lange · 07/31/13 04:21PM

Harry Potter turns 33 today. That's way older than we all thought he was, right?

Ladies, Daniel Radcliffe Is Ready to Give Birth to Your Child

Caity Weaver · 06/03/13 05:50PM

Great news if you've been meaning to have a baby with Daniel Radcliffe for a while but have yet to broach the subject with him because you're worried he'll say no or won't know what a baby is or won't know who you are. (It's me, Daniel Radcliffe. The girl who lives in your cupboard. I'm ready to have a baby with you.) He is ready to have a baby with you. He's been waiting for you to ask him all along.

Ron, Hermione, and Harry Conjure a Dark Mark Above London

Caity Weaver · 04/26/13 09:45AM

On Friday, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge took Little Brother of the World, Prince Harry, on a trip to Warner Bros. Studios for the new Making of "Harry Potter" tour. According to People, while there, William shouted "Expelliarmus!" at a group of children also brandishing fake wands. It's unclear why he felt it necessary to disarm them.