Woman Drive-Thru Robs a White Castle

Seth Abramovitch · 08/23/11 01:04AM

[Ed. Note: For this next post, we ask that you blow the dust off your original vinyl copy of License to Ill. Or else just command-click here.]

World's Biggest Hamburger Takes 12 Hours to Cook

Richard Lawson · 06/07/10 02:15PM

Here's a little news that ought to put starving people the world over in good spirits this blah Monday: an Australian cafe has made the world's biggest hamburger. It's 178lbs and costs $1500. It takes four men to flip. [Reuters]

The Secrets to Making Fast Food Appear Palatable

Mike Byhoff · 12/07/09 02:55PM

For millennia, man has questioned how Burger King tricks consumers by making Whoppers look edible in commercials. The answer is simple: In order to make fast food look good, you must make it even more disgusting.

Is Childbirth On Jennifer Aniston’s Mind?

Douglas Reinhardt · 10/20/08 12:49PM

Click to A coy Jennifer Aniston quickly denied the claim that she had babies on the brain while waiting for a friend in a back alley. Aniston chuckled as she discovered the accidental thought bubble above her, saying, “Maybe I should stand underneath a sign that says 'Oscar winner,' or 'cheeseburger.'” [Photo Credit: X17] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.