Malepocalypse Now: Men Required To Buy Fancy Shampoo

Hamilton Nolan · 12/01/08 11:20AM

Men: is your hair clean enough to get you laid? While you've been working out to get ripped abs, has your unstyled, sweat-soaked hair been holding you back from sexing the women of your dreams? No, obviously not. Your lack of money has been holding you back. But Axe, maker of horrifying adolescent body spray and even more horrifying publicity stunts, is going to convince you otherwise! Because that's what Axe does: steadily erode any semblance of dignity the American male may possess. In the grand emasculating tradition of fancy men's underwear, get ready for Axe male hair care products—the new thing that you must have in order to get chicks, bro!