O.J. Simpson Plays the Race Card, Loses

ian spiegelman · 10/05/08 10:54AM

Before being found guilty of kidnapping and assault with a deadly weapon, O.J. Simpson spent his three week trial in Nevada complaining to friends and associates that he's a victim of racism. If only the Dream Team had still been around to defend him! If only Johnny Cochran wasn't dead! If only you hadn't stormed a seedy hotel room with a gang of armed thugs to get some stupid old trinkets! "This is really depressing," O.J. told an associate. "I feel like I'm back in the '50s—a black man in a white justice system. The judge is helping the prosecution as much as she can. I only hope one juror does the right thing." [P6]

O.J. Simpson Absolutely 100% Guilty on All Charges

ian spiegelman · 10/04/08 08:39AM

A Las Vegas jury found O.J. Simpson guilty on all counts of kidnapping, armed robbery and assault with a deadly weapon late last night. The verdict comes 13 years and a day after the former football great was acquitted of murdering Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman. Simpson now faces life in prison. The judge refused bail for O.J. while his lawyer files an appeal, and Simpson's sister, Carmelita fainted as he was led out of the courtroom in handcuffs. The charges stem from a misadventure last September when Simpson and some gun-toting goons executed a bumbling raid on a room at the Palace Station casino to try to recover some old sports junk Simpson claimed had been stolen from his trophy room. "He's extremely upset, extremely emotional, but it is something that was expected," O.J.'s lawyer, Yale Galanter said. He says Simpson's fame is what did him in. "Definitely someone like OJ Simpson, everyone has a fixed opinion of him and it's troubling. I wasn't surprised." Simpson will be sentenced in December. []