Pharrell Performing "Happy" For Walmart Shareholders Will Make You Sad

Jordan Sargent · 06/06/14 03:57PM

Capitalism sucks. Here is a clip of Pharrell, who is extremely rich, singing "Happy" at today's Walmart shareholders meeting. It's definitely uplifting and inspiring and in no way very depressing and dystopian, especially when Pharrell says "put your hands together for Walmart, guys, for making the world a happier place."

Red, Bubbly Rashes Will Make Your Dumb Tattoos Even Dumber

Caity Weaver · 08/23/12 02:55PM

40 people across the United States who recently attempted to get terrible tattoos ended up with tattoos much more terrible than the ones they thought they were getting, when their ink shaded in with red, bubbly skin rashes.

That's Beetle Juice in Your Vegan Frappuccino

Leah Beckmann · 03/29/12 10:44AM

Soy Strawberry Frappuccinos, already one of the most unpleasant Starbucks drinks I could think to order, have been using something called cochineal extract to dye the drinks that murky Pepto Bismol Pink. Cochineal extract, it turns out, is made from South American beetles and was adopted in an effort to stop using artificial ingredients. But the vegan community will not have it; they have, of course, started an insufferable petition demanding that Starbucks stop using the dye.

Alicia Silverstone Grossly Bird Feeds Her Baby Gross Meal

Leah Beckmann · 03/27/12 03:20PM

Alicia Silverstone maintains a GOOP-like lifestyle website called The Kind Life, meant to promote "living your healthiest and happiest life to the fullest, while taking care of mama Earth at the same time!" Fantastic. Well today she posted the following treasure accompanied by the above video:

Holy Crap, What Is This Horrifying Monster That Washed Up In San Diego?

Leah Beckmann · 02/01/12 03:11PM

That thing you are staring at and trying desperately to understand is a "Chupacabra/Montauk Monster." Or at least that is what the tipster who sent it into Vice called it. It supposedly washed up on a San Diego beach just last week. At approximately two feet in length, it has the face of some sort of tusked boar and makes a weekly appearance in my nightmares. Whether you believe that it is real or not it is up to you to decide, but I am pretty sure that is the most terrible seademon you will see today. And one more for our collection of Montauk Monsters.

Scandal: Marmite Retail Price Skyrockets

Jeff Neumann · 08/08/10 12:20PM

For no apparent reason, the cost of a jar of Britain's favorite spread Marmite has gone through the roof over the past five years, with a 500 gram jar now costing more than a gallon of gas. What's going on?

Anderson Cooper's Mom Would Like to Talk to You About Blow Jobs

Richard Lawson · 07/10/09 10:54AM

Would you like to hear Gloria Vanderbilt, 85-year-old mother of CNN silverfox Anderson Cooper, talk about "sucking cock"? Good, because you can! Vanderbilt's naughty book called Obession: An Erotic Tale has an audio version. Here's a sample via Newsweek.

Paris Hilton Is Basically a Racist Porn Star, Says New Book

Richard Lawson · 01/23/09 01:36PM

New book Six Degrees of Paris Hilton profiles Darnell Riley, a shady criminal and pseudo-celebrity hanger-on who knows many wicked Hollywood-sleaze secrets. The tome spins many damning stories about the hood-lidded socialite's sordid existence.

American Apparel Needs Models To Show Their Junk

Hamilton Nolan · 06/09/08 02:46PM

You'll be kicking yourself for missing this party in an LA American Apparel store last Friday. It was not just an event in honor of gay pride; it included a contest to "win" a chance to "Show Your Stuff" in an American Apparel ad. "Winner chosen @ Stallion after party." Isn't that how it always turns out? Dov Charney continues to find new and innovative ways to trick dudes and girls alike into helping him skeeve out the world. The full flier, with NSFW lime green underwear shot, after the jump.

Shocking The Public With Scorpions

Hamilton Nolan · 03/27/08 02:10PM

What is the single most repellent image that humans can conjure up? Apparently, it's scorpions. Trendhunter has a list of the Top 50 "Shockvertisements" in recent history—ads that stirred up a controversy. The most common thread, obviously, is sex; but three different campaigns on the list chose to shock people by picturing scorpions. Scorpions that are touching you! Advertisers find that no other bug comes close in its ability to disgust. Below, pictures of the three scorpion ads: one is shocking but effective, one is weird but effective, and one is just misguided.