Nothing Can Convince Me That Blake Lively's Life Is Worth More Than a Great White Shark's

Rich Juzwiak · 07/06/16 10:35AM

This weekend, I caught up on a movie I had been meaning to see because it’s about a shark, was directed by Jaume Collet-Serra (who directed one of my favorite trashy movies of the 21st century, Orphan), is certified “fresh” on Rotten Tomatoes, and came recommended by people whose opinions I trust. A scrappy little B-movie that, after just two weekends in theaters, has already grossed about $20 million more than its $17 million budget, The Shallows is a single-setting thriller along the lines of 127 Hours, The Ruins, Frozen (the ski-lift one, not the Disney one whose songs continue to fill our ears and haunt our lives), and Buried (which starred Ryan Reynolds, the husband of Shallows star Blake Lively). More than anything, though, The Shallows is a giant crock of shit.

Look at This Fucking Shark

Rich Juzwiak · 08/13/15 12:15PM

Deep Blue is one of the largest great whites ever caught on film, with an estimated length of 20 feet. That’s funny because she looks at least 5,000 feet long to me. In the gif above, she’s like, “Hey guys, my head is literally the size of your body lol.”

Stupidest Shark Ever Leaps Onto Boat

Max Read · 07/19/11 11:24PM

Great white sharks are the largest, scariest predators in the sea. But they should stay in the sea. One shark didn't last week, and decided to see what it was like on a research boat.