Teens Outraged at "No Sausage Rolls" Dress Code for Graduation

Jay Hathaway · 05/29/15 11:48AM

The senior boys of Biglerville (Pa.) High School are all getting ready to dress up in khakis and collared shirts for their graduation ceremony this month, per the school’s dress code. Meanwhile, the girls are getting ready to hide their unsightly “sausage rolls, as Mrs. Elliott calls them” also per the dress code, because everyone knows “you can’t put 10 pounds of mud in a five-pound sack.”

Almost Nobody Graduates From College On Time

Hamilton Nolan · 12/02/14 11:22AM

Is it true that community college "takes two years" to complete, and regular college "takes four years" to complete? Not at all! It takes much, much longer.

Adam Weinstein · 05/20/14 01:35PM

Shorter Bret Stephens: You college brats are all lefty molly-coddled pissants. Now, please hire me to do more commencement speeches! Wah wah wahhh, Bret. Wah wah wahhhh.

In Defense of Protesting Commencement Speakers

Adam Weinstein · 05/19/14 02:09PM

Free speech on campuses is dead! Didn't you hear? Leftist fascists are forcing universities to cancel commencement speakers that they find objectionable. Others are getting protested. It's awful! Where is the freedom? Actually, the freedom is in the protesting.

Caity Weaver · 10/18/12 04:29PM

Rapper Drake graduated from high school yesterday. He dropped out in 2001 to portray a fake high schooler on Degrassi.

Watch Stephen Colbert's Hilarious Northwestern Commencement Speech

Matt Cherette · 06/17/11 05:56PM

This morning in Evanston, Illinois, Northwestern University's 2,800 graduating students gathered for commencement. On hand to give the commencement address? None other than alum Stephen Colbert of the class of '86, who delivered an uproarious 20-minute speech which squeezed in references to campus controversies like "Brothelgate" and a professor's infamous sex demonstration. It's embedded above for your enjoyment.