A Florida pilot out for a jaunt in his private two-seater yesterday took an unusual path from Kissimee toward Florida's western coast, dipping south toward Lakeland, and then suddenly heading due Nort—he drew a big dick in the sky, okay? That's what I'm getting at. His flight path was 20 miles of penis and testes. He was the captain, welcoming himself aboard the nonstop to donger city.
As the Supreme Court gets ready to hear oral arguments in a case Tuesday that could determine if authorities can track U.S. citizens with GPS vehicle trackers without a warrant, a young man in California has come forward to Wired to reveal that he found not one but two different devices on his vehicle recently.
A California elementary school is launching a six-week pilot program to track their young students like so many wild bobcats. Kids with a lot of absences will be able to volunteer to be tracked with GPS in order to make sure they are in school learning, instead of doing the sex and the gangs out on the street. From the Orange County Register:
Last evenings Simpsons opened with Homer using a new GPS device to drive the kids to school. The result? Exactly what you'd expect when you let computers take over common sense.
Snoop's been on a publicity frenzy this week. So far, he's been on Colbert, Wendy Williams, Conan, and the View. Friday, he'll be on Jimmy Kimmel. Can you guess which questions Jimmy and Snoop will be exchanging? We can.
Oh nuts. Technology is ruining NYC. You see, according to the Sunday Times, no one will get lost in the city and discover awesome new "foreign" neighborhoods by accident anymore because kids have GPS on their cellphones and cabs have interactive touch-screens and the magic is gone, and that is really, really meaningful... For instance, never again will you get some of this crazy only-in-New-York-ness: "You go for a few blocks, unsure, your senses on the alert. In this fog of momentary disorientation, you are nonetheless aware of various clues: a whiff of halal spices, both foreign and familiar; a heated conversation in Polish in your left ear; a taxi driver cursing in Caribbean Spanish in your right." Wait. We'll all speak one language? It's Babylon! God will smite us!
TomTom, the GPS device maker, has raised its offer for digital mapping service Tele Atlas to $4.22 billion. This is a substantial rise over rival Garmin's prior bid of $3.3 billion. That offer topped a prior one by TomTom for $2.5 billion. The market thinks the purchase price will be driven higher as Tele Atlas's stock price is trading higher than even the latest offer. TomTom has purchased a 28.3 percent stake in Tele Atlas already on the public market. Garmin owns a little over 5 percent of the company.
How typical of Gawker to report on a story — in this case, the New York taxi strike — and obliviously miss the tech angle. Why are some New York City taxi drivers going on strike? Why, they're protesting a requirement that cabs be outfitted with GPS transponders. The GPS devices, some contend, could be used to track drivers' movements. Corporate employees endure similar snooping of their every move on the Web, thanks to email-scanning and Web-tracking software installed by their overlords — and yet you don't see them going on strike. Our guess is that access to porn and Flash games isn't as important to tech workers as the threat of vehicle tracking is to cabdrivers. Whatever. If this means that we'll actually be able to get a cab in Brooklyn, we say track those bastards down to the last foot. (Photo by sposnick)