Losing Our Humanity, One Google Business Deal At A Time

Maggie · 11/07/07 01:40PM

In a few weeks, self-reliance will be made moot by the collaborative efforts of Exxon and Google. Lost motorists will encounter Google Maps screens at thousands of gas pumps across America. In an ode to the 15th century, after drivers select a destination, the pumps will spit out directions on genuine refined paper pulp. But what the fuck are you supposed to do if you're lost in Jersey? Though it's not as though your life would be made all that more efficient if you had step-by-step directions to the nearest 18-mile Turnpike bottleneck. Just sit in your full-serve lane, trying not to murder the gas monkey moseying his way over and be grateful for that 75¢ a gallon you're saving off the currently insane prices. It's your own fault you left the island of Manhattan, cheapo.