Latest Rich People Trend: Solid Gold Tattoos

Brian Moylan · 11/12/10 01:33PM

The latest trend sweeping Dubai, the rich people capital of the universe: solid gold temporary tattoos for special occasions like weddings. They last for about a week and only cost $50. Wait, $50? That's nothing. Luxury for everyone!

You Can Never Have Too Much Gold

Hamilton Nolan · 08/17/10 04:16PM

The Way We Live Now: literally sitting on stacks of gold bullion. How you like that, ma? While the world fights over bus routes and the city fathers are getting evicted, here we sit, blinged, ringed, done, badumbumbum.

Redneck Golf Prank

nightintern · 06/03/10 10:30AM

This seems like the physical embodiment of a Jeff Foxworthy joke. "You might me a redneck if...instead of playing golf you just try to kill everything in sight with a giant gun!"

Ready to Ride to Treasure Island Again?

Hamilton Nolan · 05/25/10 02:33PM

The Way We Live Now: Feeling that sickening whooooooooaaaaaaa feeling in our guts again. You know that one? It's the feeling you get when the market's tanking, your employees are quitting, and masked bandits just made off with your gold.

Men Are Increasingly Gold-Digging

Ravi Somaiya · 01/19/10 07:50AM

According to the New York Times anyway. They say men have accounted for three in four of the jobs lost in this recession, pay and prospects for women are increasing and thus that men are becoming worthless leeches with penises.

Nine New Year's Resolutions That Are Bound to Fail

Brian Moylan · 12/31/09 09:53AM

On December 31 everyone is thinking about ways to improve themselves for the coming year. Why bother? That will all be forgotten by February 12, and then you'll still have problems and be a failure. But we're here to help!

Coyotes Are Coming For Your Treasure

Hamilton Nolan · 09/09/09 11:00AM

The Way We Live Now: Waving goodbye to Mr. Nice Guy. In the good old days, we were free to shoplift without being beaten to death, and to live in the suburbs without being eaten by coyotes. No more.

Escape From the USA

Hamilton Nolan · 06/18/09 12:13PM

The Way We Live Now: Dashed upon the rocks of destiny. The dream of leaving the city behind to luxuriate in the fresh mountain air is finished. Sell everything, buy gold, and bail out. The Fourth of July is dead!

The Post-Bling Era?

Hamilton Nolan · 05/26/09 09:51AM

How poor are people, these days? So poor that rappers can't afford to wear half-million-dollar chains any more! That's the thesis of a story which is surely false (nobody could ever really afford to wear a half-million-dollar chain), but it raises the question: what is the post-bling thing?