10-Year-Old Genius Graduates From High School

Aleksander Chan · 06/11/14 10:48PM

Tanishq Abraham, a 10-year-old prodigy who was admitted to Mensa at age four and is better than you, graduated from high school this past weekend with a 4.0 GPA. "It wasn't, like, easy, but it was not that hard either," he told KXTV.

Ashton Kutcher Is an Engineer Now, Hahaha

Hamilton Nolan · 10/30/13 08:40AM

Lenovo, the global technology manufacturing firm that recorded nearly $30 billion in revenue last year, has named Ashton Kutcher, a former male model who rose to fame playing the stupid one on That 70s Show, as its new "Project Engineer." The time to dump your Lenovo stock is now.

The Nobel People Are Seriously Short on Cash

Hamilton Nolan · 10/16/13 01:17PM

The Nobel Foundation, which has been handing out the world's most prestigious prizes for more than a century, knows a lot of good economists. Maybe they should ask them how to make some money?

Crazy Cat People Have Nothing on Crazy Squirrel People

Rich Juzwiak · 04/18/13 10:35AM

Kelly Foxton estimates that she has spent over half a million dollars taking care of and, most importantly, dressing her squirrel Sugar Bush in various insane outfits that include gowns and faux furs. (You probably saw pictures of Sugar Bush — or one of the 5 squirrels named Sugar Bush that Foxton has owned over the years — on the Internet in the early 2000s, back before we invented the word "viral.") She shared her story on last night's episode of TLC's My Crazy Obsession, during which she said, "People think I'm nuts and I don't care because I know I'm not. I have a 156 IQ, I don't think that's nuts." Mmmm, jury's out, but choosing the word "nuts" to describe your mental state in a television segment about squirrels seems, at least, wacky.

The Creator of Dilbert, the World's Greatest Genius, Has Had Another Brilliant Thought

Hamilton Nolan · 07/02/12 02:35PM

Scott Adams is the guy who writes Dilbert, a cartoon beloved by suicidal office workers across America. Scott Adams is also, not to brag, the smartest person in America, judging simply by the quantity of thinly-veiled self-regard which drips off of each and every post on Scott Adams' blog, especially the rapey ones. Scott Adams' genius possesses such a breadth and girth that it often crowds everything else off the internet, forcing Scott Adams himself to take on the task of pointing out just how big of a genius Scott Adams is.

The Collected Wisdom of Chet Haze

Hamilton Nolan · 02/14/12 04:50PM

Here we are six weeks into 2012, and we've barely even stopped to contemplate all of the knowledge, wisdom, and understanding that pours forth from Northwestern University rap star and Tom Hanks scion Chet Haze. We will now remedy that. Below, a thorough review of all of Chet's wisdom shared on Twitter thus far this year. Absorb that shit.

Google Patents World's Simplest Home Page

Ryan Tate · 09/02/09 12:10PM

After a five-and-a-half-year fight, Google and its attorneys have managed to convince federal bureaucrats to bestow a patent on the company's iconic home page. We always thought the page was brain-dead simple, but apparently it's an innovative "graphical user interface."