Lawsuit: Man Loses Testicle After Drunk Boss Yanks It During Boat Ride

Jay Hathaway · 06/15/15 02:15PM

A New Jersey man is suing his former boss for allegedly yanking on one of his testicles during an off-site “team building” meeting, causing severe damage that led to three surgeries and an eventual amputation, the New York Post reports. The ball-busting boss was later fired, but the victim says coworkers made fun of him for being sans one nut.

If This Music Video is So Gross, Why Can't We Stop Looking At It?

Seth Abramovitch · 10/25/11 02:29AM

So Duck Sauce, the house-music superduo that brought us "Barbra Streisand," has a brand new single out, as relentlessly catchy as the last. It's called, "Big Bad Wolf," and it goes, "The Big Bad Wolf. The Big Bad Wolf. The Big Bad Wolf. The Big Bad Wolf. A-WOOOOOOOO. (Repeat 6x)." And here's the video! It's...well — perhaps the less said about it the better. But let's put it this way: 100-Pound Scrotum Guy? You no longer have to feel like you have the freakiest nuts on the internet. (Kind of NSFW, but not technically.) [via]

California Bans Circumcision Bans

Seth Abramovitch · 10/02/11 08:49PM

Jerry Brown struck a mighty blow to the Occupy Foreskin movement on Sunday, as the California governor signed a bill preventing local governments from banning circumcision in males. Back in July, a judge had ruled a ballot proposal outlawing circumcision in San Francisco, backed by 7,700 supporters, to be unconstitutional. Now, thanks to bill AB768 — or what will eventually come to be known as "Jerry's Bill" — no male child in California will ever be denied his God-mandated right to circumcision again. Let the protests commence! Bay Area Urban Docking League, you have the floor. [AP]

The Penis-Chopper Served Tainted Tofu Before Assault

Jeff Neumann · 07/24/11 12:35PM

We finally have a few more details about the hours before a California woman, Catherine Kieu, chopped off her husband's penis and tossed it into the garbage disposal. Some had speculated that an argument over houseguests set her off on a chopping rampage. And now, according to court papers obtained by the Los Angeles Times, there had been a "male friend staying with them, but Kieu did not want the friend to stay with them." And then this happened:

Penis Size Correlated with GDP, Study Finds

Maureen O'Connor · 07/21/11 05:52PM

A Finnish economist took one of those ridiculous worldwide penis studies that are always circulating and charted it against GDPs, to study that critical ratio between penis size and wealth. It's the classic golddigger's dilemma—are any of the rich ones worth fucking?—but on a global scale!

Rick Perry: Protector of All Genitalia

Jeff Neumann · 06/21/11 04:20AM

Noted secessionist and Governor of Texas Rick Perry still has your junk on his mind. Previously, the Texas Senate tried and failed to outlaw the TSA's enhanced pat downs in airports across the state after the Justice Department basically told them to fuck off. But Perry won't let go, and he has added legislation to a special session of the state senate that would criminalize "intrusive touching" by TSA employees. Lt. Governor David Dewhurst told the Houston Chronicle, "Addressing unreasonable and unlawful searches of innocent travelers by some TSA employees is an issue that affects all Texans who use air travel, and it should not wait until next Session."

Severed Head of Genital Disease Patron Saint for Sale

Max Read · 05/25/11 07:15PM

Attention, discerning auctiongoers! The head of St. Vitalis of Assisi — the patron saint of genital disease — is up for auction in Ireland this coming Sunday. Obama must be so bummed he just left!

Millions of Toys Recalled for Causing 'Genital Bleeding' in Kids

Maureen O'Connor · 09/30/10 02:38PM

Fisher-Price has recalled 7 million plastic tricycles that have a "protruding plastic ignition key near the seat" that can cause, among other things, "genital bleeding." Shudder. Four million other toys and chairs are also being recalled. [AP]

The Perilous Lives of Women Who Wax Men's Balls

Maureen O'Connor · 08/19/10 01:10PM

Men! Even when they groom like women, they are pigs. Salon interviewed women who wax men's balls. One described a client get so turned on, she had to shoot him with a taser. Another said Christopher Hitchens is weirdly flexible.

Dubya's Only Contribution to Women

Hamilton Nolan · 01/16/09 03:59PM

"Say 'farewell to Bush'"—with 20% off a Brazilian bikini wax at Bliss Spa! Yea, the joke is hackneyed. But at least the motherfucker was finally good for something. [Blissworld]

"I Don't Want To Go Right From 'Codpiece' To Ann Curry"

Pareene · 11/29/07 11:15AM

The fun just never ends on The Today Show, no matter how much you pray to your pathetic "gods." Here, Al Roker makes an inexplicable joke about Tiki Barber padding his crotch and makes Matt kinda uncomfortable. Thankfully, he spares Ann Curry the indignity of having her name mentioned in the same breath as genital sheaths, except he doesn't. Then we have "some serious news to get to."