Do you see these beautiful berries? These berries are the shiniest living things in the whole entire world. They are shinier than a blue morpho butterfly's wings. They are shinier than a scarab beetle's carapace. They are more sparkling than a child's sunny aura and more brilliant than all the secrets of the sea.
After being stabbed in the side with a butcher knife, a 58-year-old parking garage attendant in the Bronx fended off two armed attackers with an apple. The surveillance video shows two younger men threatening the attendant, who happened to be holding an apple at the time. (By color, I would guess it is a Gala. Jonagold, Fuji, and Honeycrisp are also possibilities.) As the knife-wielding assailant lunges at our frugivorous hero, he flings his snack at his attacker, then shoves the thug out the door.
This video is cute—well, it's cute in a "Did that little girl just get possessed by Satan?" way. Anyway! This is Penny. Because Penny's parents are horrible, they decided to feed her grapefruit juice and film the results.
Here's a 30-second video of three really, really, REALLY cute kitty cats sitting still for their owner. Oh, also: the aforementioned owner spends the 30 seconds stacking oranges on top of the cat's cute little paws. BAWWWWW, amirite? Watch inside.