The troops will probably be long gone from Afghanistan before the last Vegas lady cashes her Tiger Woods experience in with the tabloids. Who will run the story as long as there are pretty faces to put on covers.
If you like Afghanistan, golf or money (and pretty much everyone likes one of those things) today is a good day on the front pages for you. If you are Tiger Woods however, it's best that you read a book.
The President gave some speech about troops in some country. But mainly the Post kills it on the Tiger Woods story. There are puns galore: birdies, sex drive, paws. To steal their line, they're all coming out of the Woodswork!
The news that the President is to announce that his weeks of agonizing are over, and that there will be a troop increase, dominates the front pages. But there's still room for heartwarming Thanksgiving stories.
The world is falling apart! Water is full of feces, debt is collossal, sex offenders are running rife, six-packs abs are a sham and no-one updates Wikipedia any more. A look at today's front pages gives us two solutions though.
Having covered breast healthcare issues all week, the papers move south to other ladyparts today. But forget all that, buy the tabloids, and read about a foot model cast out into the street (almost) for her princess-and-pauper love.
The news that Obama can't push China around is the story of the day. The mammograms debate rumbles on, more from the weird world of Michael Jackson, carbon offsetting is a scam and Macbeth, the opera, featuring baboons!
The papers have toured around the world, from London to the Bay, abandoned their slavish devotion to Fort Hood and Afghanistan and come up with a day of fun stories that feature MC Hammer as a fashion icon among others.
First a recession starts and there are a lot of personal recession features. Then everyone gets bored and there are no personal recession stories. Now, they're back! Along with some war, a sad President and more on Fort Hood.
Select from the following: the army a) did know the Fort Hood shooter was radicalized, b) didn't know he was radicalized or c) kind of knew, through a third agency. Alternatively, ignore the whole intelligence mess and read about fishing.
Oops. All the papers report that the FBI failed to act when the Fort Hood shooter emailed a radical cleric 10 or 20 times. Also: swine flu blood shortages! Living on severance! Drug wars! Madoff memorabilia! J-Lo sex tape!
There were protests in Iran, Toyota lied about dangerous defects, digital readers may dominate the holidays, Italians hate the CIA (and probably America) Mexican druglords take over the US and Europeans politicians rock. Unless you're autistic or a castrato.
In a new roundup of the morning's front pages you'll be glad to hear that our measured press corps refuses to read too much into last night as a ridiculous referendum on Obama so soon into his presidency. Kidding!