Mark Zuckerberg Has to Sit in a Room With Glenn Beck Now

Ashley Feinberg · 05/15/16 06:40PM

In an effort to quell the frantic conservative Twitter eggs currently running amok online, Mark Zuckerberg has resorted to a line of recourse that seems almost too good to be true (for everyone who’s not Mark Zuckerberg). Because this coming Wednesday, the Facebook man who struggles to understand basic social cues is going to be forced to sit in a room with conservative lunatic Glenn Beck and 11 other “conservative thought leaders.” Sometimes dreams really can come true.

3,000 Upstaters Want to Commit Economic Suicide by Seceding From New York

Andy Cush · 08/28/15 05:10PM

That attractive graphic up there represents a plan put forth by a group of liberty lovers who’d like to see New York state split into two “autonomous regions”: New York, below, composed of the city plus Long Island and Westchester and Rockland Counties, and New Amsterdam, above, composed of everything else. If that sounds appealing to you, you can attend their rally on Sunday.

These SWAT Team Teletubbies Will Stare Into the Bottom of Your Soul

Andy Cush · 02/25/15 04:45PM

Today marks the opening of the 2015 Triennial at Manhattan's New Museum, billed as "the only recurring international exhibition in New York City devoted to early-career artists from around the world." From the looks of things, there's a lot of art to wade through, but in the eternal quest for virality, one work has emerged an early standout.

Hamilton Nolan · 07/30/14 11:49AM

"The last woman you heard from said it's a person's First Amendment right to hang a poster like that on a pole, and she said it was also her freedom of speech right to take down that poster, and throw it in the garbage." Brooklynites would rather not be told to "dress modestly" in public.

Adam Weinstein · 07/02/14 11:31AM

"The latrines are indeed kind of full. My eyes water with the smell of freedom." GQ's Zach Baron ventured out to Bunkerville and wrote the ultimate postmortem on Cliven Bundy, his army encampment of misanthropes, and the American revolution that wasn't.

Why Does Chipotle Hate Freedom?

Adam Weinstein · 05/20/14 10:20AM

There are two ways to mark yourself as an unrepentant splotchy engorged asshole in a Chipotle. One is to order the quesarito at rush hour. The other is to order anything with a semiautomatic assault rifle in your arms, at the ready. One of these is going away. It's not the quesarito.

Crazy Armed Whiteys Successfully Defend Cows' Constitutional Rights

Adam Weinstein · 04/14/14 03:32PM

Bloodshed was averted and a bunch of freedom-loving, gut-hanging-over-the-brass-belt-buckle, self-styled militia men declared victory Monday in a major armed standoff with federal and local officials over one bubba's right to graze his cattle on taxpayer land in Nevada.

Homeland Security Wants a Nationwide License Plate Tracking System

Adam Weinstein · 02/19/14 10:25AM

Good news: Uncle Sam's terrorist-watchin' lawmen would like a database that shows the whereabouts of every car with a license plate that's recently been scanned by a government tag reader. Does that freak you out? Here's better news: They want a private contractor to run it.

Some Lucky U.S. Clergy Have Been Getting Tax-Free Housing for Years

Adam Weinstein · 11/25/13 02:01PM

A federal court in Wisconsin* ruled last Friday that the First Amendment invalidates a 1921 section of the US tax code that allowed religious leaders to get tax-free payments to cover their living expenses, separate from their salaries. Oh wait, you didn't realize religious leaders get their living expenses paid tax-free?

Imprison the Royal Family and Abolish the Monarchy

Hamilton Nolan · 07/22/13 12:26PM

As the world waits with bated breath for the emergence of the latest—and cutest—member of the British Royal Family, allow us to put forth a gentle reminder: In a just world, this innocent child would be going up for adoption, since its family would have been imprisoned for crimes against humanity.