Beyoncé turns 28 today. Mark Ronson is turning 34. Police commissioner Ray Kelly is 68. Congressman Anthony Weiner is turning 45. Hotelier/restaurateur Sean MacPherson turns 45. Paper magazine co-founder David Hershkovits is turning 62. Damon Wayans is 49. Retired baseball player Mike Piazza is 41. And Dr. Drew Pinsky is celebrating his 51st. Weekend birthdays below.
• It wouldn't be fashion's biggest night without a bit of drama thrown in to spice things up. Naomi Campbell, Linda Evangelista, and Christy Turlington are reportedly skipping the Costume Institute gala this evening, possibly because Kate Moss was chosen to co-chair the event; meanwhile, Karl Lagerfeld, Azzedine Alaia, and Domenico Dolce and Stefano Gabbana are all staying home, perhaps because Marc Jacobs has "commandeered the event" by buying two tables and dressing Moss, Madonna, and Kerry Washington. [P6]
• The Chelsea Clinton wedding rumors continue: The Boston Globe reports the former first daughter and Marc Mezvinsky may get hitched at Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen's home on Martha's Vineyard in August, which is when the Obamas will be in town, too. [BG, NYDN]
• Kelly Killoren Bensimon says picking on her has become "the new recession vocation." Sounds about right. [R&M]
Last week, Simon & Schuster sued Brooklyn rapper Foxy Brown for failing to complete her memoir, Broken Silence. Now, her lawyer says that the publisher had allowed Foxy to put the project on hold after she suddenly lost her hearing, but then "decided not to go forward with [her] project." [All Hip Hop]
Female rapper Lil Kim and female rapper #2 Foxy Brown are both being sued for the same reason: being procrastinating authors. Ha, [we're-all-in-same-boat joke]! Simon & Schuster has filed suit against both of them for taking their advances ($40K and $75K, respectively) and then not writing a damn word. Ha, if only [Keith Gessen joke]! And they have no excuse for not doing it-they were both in jail! Ha, [OJ-confessional-book joke]! I'm sure you'll all grieve for the lost opportunity to read Lil Kim's prospective book, which was titled "Untitled Novel." Ha, how come these things never happen to [blogger-turned-author joke]? [NYS]
Rapper, criminal, and muse of the ages Foxy Brown has been denied the early release from prison she had requested. Brown had been hoping to go to California to seek treatment for a defective ear implant. Ms. Brown was sentenced to a year in prison this past September, after violating the probation she earned by assaulting some manicurists. Spinderella remains at large. [NYT]
Gravel-voiced bulldog Joe Tacopina was a lawyer for corrupt former police commissioner Bernard Kerik—one that Kerik actually paid for services rendered. Because while the other guys were defending Kerik from pending indictments the old-fashioned "legal" way, Tacopina was, according to the U.S. Attorneys, passing on false information and obstructing justice—and that's the way you defend Bernie Kerik, dammit. (Back in April, Tacopina was praised to the heavens Page Six—and also used to represent former Page Sixer Jared Paul Stern and Foxy Brown.) Now Kerik's other lawyer may be tossed off the case for possessing non-privileged information about Tacopina's actions—and Tacopina will testify about Kerik's misdeeds. America is so cruel to its heroes.
New York Post nutcase Andrea Peyser is titillated by the sight of a humbled Foxy Brown arriving at a Brooklyn court (from prison) to plead not guilty to her third phone-related assault. Brown's drab jacket and plaid pants (H&M!!) and "matted" hair excite Peyser to a degree that few cut-down-to-size "divas" could hope to match. Also, this is maybe the single horrifying sentence written in any newspaper in America today: "She also carried no BlackBerry, no $1,500 Louis Vuitton satchel—and revealed nothing of the precious nipple we've come to know and love."