Marco Rubio Please Fuck Up My Football Team

Jordan Sargent · 04/01/16 12:15PM

For most of you, the day Marco Rubio dropped out of the Republican presidential race is the same day he disappeared from your life, perhaps forever. The same may not be true for me.

Here's an Intriguing Fan Theory About What Time the Super Bowl Is

Andy Cush · 02/05/16 12:00PM

This February, as every February, the football fandom community is awhirl with speculation about the timing of the Super Bowl. The NFL has dropped a breadcrumb trail of clues in the promotional campaign leading up to Sunday’s big game, and plenty of football fans think they know exactly when kickoff will happen.

School District Tells Football Coach to Stop Public Prayers, Coach Doesn't, Guess What Happens

Jay Hathaway · 10/29/15 10:00AM

An assistant high school football coach in Bremerton, Wash. became the center of a national controversy after school district officials asked him to stop leading public Christian prayers on the 50-yard line after games and Fox News got ahold of the story. Coach Joe Kennedy did not stop the prayers, and guess what? The district has put him on administrative leave, the Seattle Times reports.

Republican Candidates Compete For Racist Hick Demographic

Hamilton Nolan · 10/05/15 08:04AM

The real ideological battle in the Republican primary will not be over taxes, or foreign policy, or immigration. Rather, it is a contest to find who will capture the valuable “Racist Hick Football Fan” demographic.

Allen West Thinks School-Sponsored Prayer Will Stop Football Injuries

Ashley Feinberg · 04/21/15 01:40PM

Disgraced Floridian and former congressman Allen West took some time recently to address a Texas conservative group about the dangers of separating church and state—dangers like grievous football injuries, specifically. But thankfully, that ain’t nothing a little prayer can’t fix.

What to Yell During the Super Bowl

Dayna Evans · 01/30/15 03:50PM

Not sure what things to yell during Sunday's Super Bowl match between the New England Patriots and the Seattle Seahawks? Here are a few ideas so you don't look stupid or uninformed in front of your close sports compatriots.

Hamilton Nolan · 12/19/14 10:30AM

A five-year-old boy who heard that the University of Alabama-Birmingham was canceling its football program sent his entire $1 allowance to the school to try to save it. That's not nearly enough—his useless gesture was a failure.

Hero Bro Sings Into Goose

Dayna Evans · 11/23/14 03:55PM

Listen, it's been a dark Sunday and sometimes a little levity is necessary. At a Miami-Virginia game on Saturday, a dude who was super amped about football, Journey, and geese (some might call it the holy trinity of Getting Amped), used his plastic friend as a microphone. What's that you say? You are feeling inadequate at his skill?

Groundbreaking Research Suggests That Women Buy Football Jerseys

Dayna Evans · 11/04/14 11:45AM

Football season brings many things: a renewed interest in processed cheese, overt excitement over grown men concussing themselves, and drinking on Monday nights. But have you asked yourself what it means for the ladies? One experiment in basic data journalism has determined the mind-blowing answer, and it will surprise you!